11 July 2007
The Grass Isn't Always Greener
Regular readers will remember this post I did back in March.
I honestly thought when I was writing it that my brother was on a one way street & wouldn't be turning back, well I am pleased to say I was wrong (for once!)
He's finally seen the light & is getting himself sorted out, he's cut contact completely with the 'friends' he was in with, moved in with his best friend from primary school & is working hard to get himself sorted & off the cocaine.
He hasn't really said why he all of a sudden decided to get his act together, from what he has said I think he had a bit of a scare with a friend, well, a big scare to be more precise. He won't go into details about it but he's said enough for me to know it scared the s**t out of him, a wake up call I think you would call it.
I'm so glad because I could see what he was doing to himself & how he'd changed both on the outside & inside, that's all he cared about & thankfully now he's thinking about getting a decent job etc etc & getting his life on track. He's still struggling I think but at least he's making a conscious effort to stay away from the crap, he's staying away from his old haunts & old company which is a huge plus & his decent friends are being really good as is his girlfriend so I'm just hoping & praying he doesn't fall back into it, I'm kind of worried because I know all it will take for him is a weak moment & he'll fall back into it before he knows what he's doing, I spent 2 hours on the phone talking to him & making him see just how much of a one way dead end street it is, what a complete waste of time & life it is & I just don't want to see him end up like that. I didn't lecture him or have a go but it's so hard to make somebody see & not make it sound like a lecture when you've seen them like I've seen him & trying to make him see that he can't waver because that one waver will send him back down the same path, I know it will. He promised me he'd seen the damage it was doing & knew he had to make a choice before it was made for him so I can only hope he sticks to it, I know the first step is the hardest & I'm proud of him for doing that & not just letting himself get sucked in completely but I just so badly hope he doesn't go back to it & that this is permanent. I spoke to his friend, just to make sure he'd keep an eye on him & not let him get back into his old ways. I know he can't stop him but at least by keeping an eye on him & keeping him away from his old company & haunts it will make it less easy for him to be tempted. His girlfriend has refused to have anything to do with him for the past few months & I think her walking away made him see the damage he was causing, I spoke to her quickly & she's promised to keep him on the straight & narrow, she's made it clear to him that if he goes back to it she will walk so that should be enough of an incentive for him to stay well away.
I'm so pleased he's managed to pull away, he's worth so much more & has the brains & looks to do a lot more with his life, he was offered work by a modelling agency last year but couldn't do it, not sure if that's what he's thinking about doing, I hope he doesn't for a while, if at all because it's hardly the best industry to be in when the one thing you're trying to avoid is being handed round like peanuts in a bowl!
I've let him know I'm here if he needs me but I won't be a soft touch if he gets back on it, my mum has done the same but he confides more in me so I'm just hoping so much that that is enough for him. I can't do any more than that & I'm not going to keep checking up on him or pressure him, it's upto him now, he's got the support & help there if he wants or needs it.
He may be 6'4" & I may only just reach his ribcage but he's still my baby brother & I still worry about him :o)