25 August 2007

I am Boss

So you can all listen, or else! ;)

I was tagged by Twining to say what 5 changes (but it will probably be more, I have a lot to say) I would make if I was Commissioner/Chief Constable (ooooh the power!)
Being as I have no idea of the intricacies of the police & law then bare with me here, I'm in an idealist mood.

1. I'd flutter my eyelashes & get the job for longer than a day to make the changes & so I'm able to see them go through. Then I'd hand the job over to somebody more capable, like TUPC or Inspector Gadget, with me to return should they start getting too power hungry. Lol

2. I'd abolish the PCSO role & all those serving in it would be handed 2 choices. Apply to the regs or become civilian paperwork monkeys to fill out the forms etc that all regular officers are weighted down with.

3. I would have neighbourhood wardens instead of PCSO's.

4. Allow taser to be issued immediately & make it known I'm in full support of it (but only if I could have one as well *evil grin*)

5. With all the extra PC's I now have due to them being free from the weight of paperwork & the good PCSO's now regs then foot patrol would be back on with neighbourhoods adequately policed. Lazy coppers, along with this, would get a 6 month gym membership & told to lay off the cakes & have their desks taken away from them.

6. Promotion would be granted strictly on the basis of morals & how capable you are to carry out the role with a genuine interest in the best for everyone instead of how good you are at arse licking. (Not even A.P vouchers would change my mind! Lol)

7. I would keep a genuine interest in the goings on & issues at grass roots & speak about these issues along with having full support for them if they were of a genuine concern & worry.

8. All uniform & safety equipment would be comfortable & of a decent enough quality to stand up to the conditions it is being worn in & of a good enough quality to be of use rather than hindrance. Same goes for all safety equipment. There would also be enough to go round.

9. All associations that only serve to highlight differences & cause tension would be abolished & instead there would be one association, representing police officers as a whole rather than race/religion/sexuality. This association would be neutral & fair & stand only to represent Police Officers, not the colour, creed or sexual orientation of those officers.

10. The piles of money that has been saved with all this change would go back into recruitment & training with extra benefits that would be of use to serving officers being looked at & considered.

11. I would staunchly refuse to become a member of the 'Schmooze' club instead remaining with the 'Straight talking & blunt' one.

12. The fact there would be so many more officers now about would mean all of them had an adequate refs break. All police stations would also have a 24hr canteen.

13. All female police officers would be allowed an hour extra lunch break to enable them to keep up with the latest fashions & so they could buy more shoes or makeup if so needed. They would also have an extra pouch on their belt to keep emergency supplies of mascara, lipgloss & nail repair glue. Also, space for the latest copy of Heat/Glamour/Cosmopolitan magazine. They would also have free range to pink up their uniforms.......... ;)

I can't think of any more, I also think as I've added 7 more (serious) points to the specified 5 that I've brought enough change to things! Lol


Annette said...

Brill. Love the way the w p c's have the hour long lunch break and the extra pocket for lipgloss etc.

I would extend that a little and make sure that they get the top jobs as women are the best.

Women power eh?


dickiebo said...

Frankly, GND, you seem little better than Sire Ian! I can see, 'You're gonna be a troublemaker!'

Noddy said...

Crikey, that actually made sense until you went all pink and girlie. Can the blokes have Saturdays off to watch the footie then?

thoughts running through my head.... said...

GND,I always say to the blokes at work 'you wait till I'm Chief,all this will change!' so here are my top 5 changes I'd make;

1.new,decent flattering uniforms-'clothes maketh the man' and all that!

2.really fast fuck off vehicles with stylish 'dont mess with us' liveries.

3.blues and twos for any call.

4.Tasers where necessary.

5.no PCSO'S or Travel Safe Officers-police or nothing-there are too many people who want a piece of the action but arent qualified or dont want the shit that goes with it all imo!

er,number 13 of yours I already have!!