8 August 2007

"I'm Too Sexy"

At least that's what he thought. Personally I was thinking more Shrek but at least Shrek had some redeeming features. Why do men like I'm about to mention think they are going to get anywhere by saying crap like they do? Do they really think by acting the 'gangsta' the girl they are talking to is going to think 'Yes, this guy's got it going on, he keeps grabbing his crotch, he wears his jeans around the crack of his arse & to top it all has a fake ridiculous 'street' accent & I would just love to be his bitch. I am the luckiest girl in the whole world, he is such a catch'. In a word, NO! they will be thinking the complete opposite although there is bound to be some pleb-ite that will actually think that & take him up on the offer.

This all goes back to the other day, when I was sat on a bench in town waiting for Mr. S to come & pick me up when this guy came & sat down beside me, no big deal, normal people do that. Then he started chatting, still fine if a little annoying so I was polite & whatever back while pretending to be busy texting someone. He's still droning on when he asked me did I want to go for a drink? I ignored him, thinking he was talking to someone else when he asked again so I replied by saying thanks but 1. I'm seeing someone & 2. I don't take random strange men up on their offers of a drink.

Then he started gabbling on about how

"you're really pretty you know"


"I bet you turn heads wherever you go"

*sickbucket*. Is that really the best he could come up with? I mean for God's sake, he had the chat up lines of a 14 year old but the attitude of a New York Gangsta/pimp. I felt like saying to him

"this is the Cotswolds, not the Bronx you fool!".

By this point I was highly pissed off but couldn't go anywhere else as I'd already arranged here & couldn't get through to Mr S. Meanwhile P Diddy the 2nd is still droning on next to me, thinking he may actually be in with some chance although God knows where he got that idea from when he turned round & said

"I have girls falling at my feet you know"

to which I replied, in a sweet but very sarcastic tone

"Oh really? Are you sure it's not just your ego they're tripping over?"

& walked off with a slight grin on my face.

Oh the look on his face & the satisfaction at a cutting put down jumping into my head at the exact right moment *grin*. Does it get any better?! Lol


maneatingcheesesandwich said...

Look on the bright side, at least he tried the flattering lines first. If you'd had a shell suit and big hoopy earings, he'd have gone straight for the killer "Stick with me babe, and we could get a council house like that, that, that...." (to the sound effect of twattishly failing to make his Gangsta fingers click)

dickiebo said...

Go on! Tell me he had a shaved head. Go on. Make my day.

Spooj said...

Oi! whats wrong with a shaved head? :D

At least i dont have to waste time wondering what my hair looks like in the morning :D

pawpads said...

Bloody chavtastic dude.
How did you manage not to fall at his feet?

PC South West said...

I bet he had an impressive record GND! Criminal record that is.

Miss X said...

Hunny, he sounds just your type! ;)
I've moved blogs so could you update the link please?
I'm now back in the land of the living so will speak to you later xxx

The Thin Blue Line said...

On the negative side, all men are bastards. I'm including myself in that.
On the sunny side, I love the type face.
Missed your blog, hope you're well.


totallyun-pc said...

So syaing "is your name gillette? cos your the best a man can get!" isn't going to work with you then....Hmmmmm

Plan B it is.....

triciabelle said...

the best i ever got was a chilean "G" came into the record store I work at, and when i asked if he needed help finding anything he replied "baby i allready found the angel music i was looking for... your voice."
it's sad when they don't realise quite how hopeless they really are.

Girl*Next*Door said...

MECS, he very nearly was that bad! Lol

Dickie of course he had a shaved head! He was a chav so he had traintracks as well......

It's not the shaved head Spooj, it's the twat that's wearing it. Not that all shaven heads are twats! I'll stop now, the hole's getting a bit deep! Lol :D

Pawpads, I'm not sure how he managed to avoid falling at his feet the amount of jewelry hanging from his neck!

Damnit PCSW, you've made me realise I could have taken him to the local cop shop for a date & handed him over in exchange for a reward for the local granny robbing he's no doubt done....!

X, I told you so! Hahaha xxx

Wee man! Back then?! I was beginning to think you'd either been rubber heeled or abducted by aliens. Likewise, Butters has been pining for your blog too! Lol

TUPC I'll have you know I'm a classy bird! Then again it all depends on the man uttering the lines as to whether it gets a laugh at the sheer cheesiness or a cool reception &/or slap! Lol

Hi Triciabelle :) I know what you mean, there really are some horrendous lines out there & worse, they actually get used! *shocked face*