12 September 2007

Just Don't

My friend may be a bit immature at times, & when I say immature I mean a bit giggly & hyper. Not schoolgirl giggly, just lighthearted. So when my mum started on the other night about how immature she is, how scatty she is, how disorganised she is for her age etc etc etc & ad infinitum I really was not a happy bunny. She's my best friend, a friend who has been there for me through thick & thin & is one of the few people I could turn to when things were really difficult at one point so when my mum basically started a one woman slagging campaign against her I was more than a little pissed off & at one point nearly blew my top, it takes alot for me to get to that stage too.
I could go on about her friends that she treasures so much, like the one who, when she comes round I hide my bottle of nail polish remover from for fear of her chucking it down her neck (not really, but she has a liking for alcohol/meths that masquerades as alcohol) or the one who is so bloody patronising & sickly sweet I feel like I've consumed a 2lb bag of sugar after I've seen her. Or the one who is so fucking bossy she'd put the local WI matriarch to shame.
Or how about the one who does a damn fine impersonation of Coco the Clown with her style of makeup?!
Or the one who favours what looks like hessian sacks for clothing?
I'm sure all that would go down like a lead bloody balloon so don't slag off my best friend who's only faults are to be a bit dippy/disorganised & giggly occasionally. Especially when it doesn't even bloody well affect you in any way & especially not when you're just pissed off with somebody so set your sights on an easy target to take your frustration out on. For fucks sake it's not like she's some junkie or granny robber, she's a normal 24 yr old who has been a damn good mate to me when I needed it most.

You may have gathered by now that I really don't take kindly to my friends being slagged off for no good reason. I did the best thing I could have done to avoid a huge row, which was to take myself off upstairs & plug myself into my mp3 player. I came within a hairs breadth of having a row & I hate rows & will avoid confrontation at all costs, I'd rather sit down & talk it out. The thing is she knows just what buttons to press to get a fucking reaction, she's the only damn one that does & I swear sometimes she does it for a fucking hobby. Fair enough if I had friends that were down & outs or complete ratbags but I don't, they're all decent people.
This is the reason I'm thinking more & more of moving out, at least then I can filter the damn phonecall. It's not like I don't pay my way because I work, help with the housework & babysit a lot so sharing with someone wouldn't be that much different. Except financially I'd have to make sacrifices but when things are like this I wouldn't mind doing that. She was completely unfair & had no reason to say what she did. It even made me cry a bit & that I don't do often. She's so critical sometimes, then she wonders why I don't speak to her about stuff. Maybe because rather than encourage or come up with constructive criticism it's just plain criticism.
I mostly get on with her but times like that I think she's out of order. Maybe it's just me, I don't know but I thought it was very unreasonable.

Rant over :)


RandomPinkness said...

My heart goes out to you, moving away to uni was the best thing I've ever done I love my parents but wouldn't have been able to stand another year stuck out in sticksville with them. My mum's always criticizing my eating/weight which of course makes me eat more etc I don't go home much, I get on so much better with my parents by phone :) it's the way forward.

PC South West said...

Nobody can wind us up more than our family can.
I got on a lot better with my mum once I moved out of home.
I guess we are just lucky to have them though.

cogidubnus said...

Yes I agree with the two above - I've been there as a youngster and a parent - there comes a time in all our lives when we need space and parents are often the worse at realising just when the worse of those times are.

As a husband/father I chuckled at your realising how easy mother finds it to press all the right buttons...they do it to their husbands too! Must be inbuilt into the female genes or something... believe me...in twenty years or so you'll really and truly do it yourself...honestly (I found myself saying lots of the things my parents used to, and which I'd always sworn I never would!)

Overall you were wise to take a deep breath...seriously, it does get better eventually - parents aren't infallible and they never stop having to learn either...and learning of all sorts is tougher as you get older, (when we do finally revolt and refuse to learn any further is when we evolve into cantankerous old farts!)...

Little Wing said...

Feel better now????
Actually you are very lucky to have your mum, I wish I did!

Girl*Next*Door said...

I usually get on really well with my mum there are just the odd times where we clash incredibly badly. I guess it is because we are quite similar.
It doesn't happen often but when it does it tends to be a bit awkward. As usual with that kind of thing though it's ok now, I just wish she didn't know how to get a reaction from me!

& yes, I am very lucky to have her but it's only natural we'll clash sometimes :)