31 May 2007

If Wishes Were Horses

Got a lift to the stables with a friend today in my lunch break to go & sort my horse, Sunny, out & give her a hand with her's. This is Sunny, don't let the angelic expression fool you!

Not quite sure how she manages it but for a 14.2hh mare she jumps one hell of a height, at the moment she's in a field with a rather high hedge with electric fencing run across the edge as an extra deterrent, so far she's behaved & not managed to escape from this field, until last night that is.......

One of the girl's up there has bought a new colt & unfortunately decided to turn him out in the field next to Sunny's, cue alot of neighing & her deciding she'd take on the hedge, & succeed so it looks like she had some company last night which I wouldn't mind but not if, in 11 months time, one of these pop out

Oh well, just have to wait & see, at least if she is up the duff the colt she mated with is nice so she'll have a nice foal. I wouldn't be without her though & it's a good job she can't talk because she knows more stuff than my best friend & mother put together!!! Hopefully if the weather is better this weekend than last I'll be able to get out for a good ride, could do with it that's for sure so fingers crossed :o)

I'm also completely 'want, want, want' over this saddle, mine's fine but went into the saddlers today & saw this:

It's beautiful, & even more beautiful to sit on, I tried it out whilst I was there & it is gorgeous, sooooooo comfy & lovely. Something to think about when my bank balance is looking less malnourished & if the saddler has a second hand one come in because, at £500.00 it is more than slightly beyond my budget at the moment, then again he did say he'd do a part exchange on a new or second hand one, still, like the saying goes - A woman needs two animals - the horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it! Lol.

Also absolutely fell in love with this corset when I saw it as well, absolutely beautiful, I have such a bad case of the wants at the moment! 'Tis lovely though, perfect colour & is the real McCoy rather than a cheap impersonation corset but again, £195.00.... Why do I have to have such expensive taste?!?! The people who make this though are well known for their sales so maybe then, when it's something like 50/75% off it will be mine! Just means I'll have to behave from now until then, I'll have to go on the hunt for my willpower, hasn't been around for that long I'm not sure I'll recognise it when I do find it! Lol

28 May 2007

Salva Mea

I don't know what's going on with me at the moment, for the last few weeks I've been getting probably a maximum of 4 hours sleep a night & not eating properly at all because I have barely any appetite, the completely weird thing is I don't miss the sleep I'm not getting or the food, how messed up is that?! I know I get like this when I'm stressed or worried about something, I've always had the same reaction & I know it isn't healthy but I can't seem to be able to do anything about it. I'm not depressed or anything like that because I do feel kind of ok but I feel jumbled up inside, that's the only way I can describe it, it's doing my head in.

I'll be with friends or at work & be fine & then come the evening I either feel completely wired & not at all in need of sleep & ok or I'll be the same except not ok & just feel like crying for a little bit, I have more or less zero appetite & a sandwich will fill me up until the next day & if I try to eat more I'm ill. I feel tense most of the time, kind of anxious but I have nothing to be stressed or tense about, I can't work it out & don't understand it. It's not even like my moods change because they don't, I'm not a moody person I'm generally always the same, bubbly & carefree & just how I've always been which is what's confusing me even more. Like I said, I don't miss the sleep I'm not getting or the food I'm not eating & that just isn't right, I've lost weight which I could do without because I'm slim enough as it is, I don't know what to do except go to the doctor but then I don't because I don't want sleeping tablets or anything like that but on the other hand I don't want to keep feeling like I have been, it's so stupid!

Maybe it will pass & it's just a strange time, it's just making me wonder a bit because it isn't possible or healthy to survive on so little food or sleep & I don't want to end up burning out, the few times I've gone to bed at a reasonable time I've just laid there with thoughts & stuff going on in my head, not even important stuff just stupid things & not getting to sleep until 3/4/5 in the morning, even when I've been tired. Some nights I feel absolutely shattered mentally & physically but just cannot get to sleep so lay in bed either listening to my mp3 player, reading or get back up again & go on the 'net or watch tv, it's just ridiculous. I don't know what to do & I don't understand why I'm feeling like I am but I've got to do something because I can't go on like this or I will just burn myself out.

27 May 2007

The Dangers Of Drink....

Before I start, can I just say that you should never EVER contemplate letting your best friend apply fake tan when you've both worked your way through a bottle & a half of wine. Best mate came round this afternoon & after having a laugh & general chat etc it came up about fake tan, Im quite fair so fake tan is quite appealing to me, I don't go for the 'tangoed' look but I like to look like Ive spent a few days in the sun, I bought this L'oreal spray one the other day & haven't had chance to put it on so between the 2 of us we decided this afternoon would be a good time to try, I stand & friend sprays me, I did wonder at the time if she was doing it properly but being as we were both quite tipsy & giggling it didn't seem much of an issue. We both thought we'd done a good job, until about 5 this afternoon when I was more sober & stood in front of a mirror & she was pissing herself laughing. My legs, back & arms resemble streaky bacon & my stomach looks like it belongs to somebody else, it really isn't the affect I was hoping for! Thankfully I had 1 corrector wipe so have done my legs & arms & luckily the fake tan has faded, slightly. I looked at the bottle earlier & over half has gone! Think she enjoyed the spray mechanism too much to be honest, could have been worse though, I could have let her do my face......

25 May 2007

I ♥ Banksy

I really like Banksy, if you haven't heard of him he is a 'street artist' if you have heard of him & don't like him then he is known as a 'vandal'. Alot of his stuff is dotted about London & is almost always controversial or questioning the modern world, there's also some of his work in Brighton, Bristol, America & even the West Bank Barrier. He's anonymous, nobody knows what he looks like or what his real name is, probably because he is wanted by the Police for numerous offences to do with his art. If he was just one of those people that walked around with a graffiti can spraying random spots & proclaiming that ''Daz woz 'ere'' then I would class him as a vandal, but the fact his work I think, is quite thought provoking & is in it's own right, art, then I think he deserves to be called an artist. A few people I know disagree but you can make up your mind for yourselves from the pictures below.

Plus, what policeman/woman hasn't felt like doing this once in a while...........

24 May 2007

C'est La Vie

The single life is mine again, turns out the ex boyfriend wasn't actually as mature as I thought, hmmmm, that was a shock.....

After a year or so of being together he decides two hours is a little bit too much effort to come see me once in a while, the boy has dedication, not. He has known this distance was impending for a while now, as in 4 months, now I'm not being funny here, but even I don't take that long to come to a decision! After him demanding space & then saying ''The distance is too much, I thought I could do it but I can't'' has pissed me off to be honest, especially when it was him saying the distance definitely wouldn't be a problem & things would be fine, don't worry. Apparently I was too demanding, the lapdance thing was no big deal & did I really expect him to give up his night out ''with the lads''? Well actually yes I did, I can see how very demanding that makes me & how I need to change my ways ASAP. I can also see how I ''only have myself to blame'' & ''we can still be friends'', graciousness has now made it's star appearance I see. Oh well, they say every cloud has a silver lining, my silver lining being I shall be saving ££ on mobile bill's & I now have the weekends of a single girl, nights on the town, days on the town & the chance to be selfish, ie; not have to consider somebody else & they're feelings/what they're doing etc. I still maintain he is a twat but hopefully I won't feel so arrgghh in a few weeks because he is, & I don't believe I'm saying this, a nice person, I do have a habit of seeing the good in everybody & everything, I need to start wising up I think!

20 May 2007

Question Time

No, not the programme, please credit me, lol ;o) This has been around on a few other blogs I read so thought I'd do as everyone else has done & steal it for me as Im too lazy to do a decent post :o)

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, suffice to say it isn't a common name & at this moment I can only think of 3 famous women who share it.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday, over the boyfriend.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, it's neat without being too straight laced, if that makes sense.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Random or what! But it would have to be cold roast pork :o)

5. DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN? No, but I fully intend on having them at some point, preferably at least 4.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes, I like to think I'm easy to get on with, must be true because I very rarely don't get on with someone.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Far, far more than I should, I'm afraid I do have a very sharp wit & sarcasm features in that.


9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Most definitely, as long as they promised not to cut the cord when I wasn't looking! Lol

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Cinnamon Grahams, yummy!

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope, I'm afraid I am the type of person that kicks off my shoes unless they're boots.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Mentally yes, without a doubt. Physically, pretty strong although could do with some work.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Rum & Raisin, Coffee & Mint Choc Chip. Sorry, can't choose just one!

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes & Smile, & bum on blokes! Hehehehe

15. RED OR PINK? Pink.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Happy with everything except my feet, they are too small at a size 2! Don't laugh! Least they don't get trodden on that often! Except the horse, who always manages to find them the cow, lol.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? The person my dad used to be, unfortunately the person he is now is completely different.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Navy pj shorts & bare feet.
I think this is American, either way I'm not telling you the colour of my pants! Lol


21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Radio 1's Big Weekend. The catchup of the day on BBC3, Scissor Sisters on stage at the moment, love them!


23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Cut Grass, Fresh Coffee, the smell of my horse, no not that smell, the smell of her coat & the tack etc! Clean cotton sheets.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? One of my 3 best mates who lives in Brighton, lucky bugger.

25. WORST HABIT? I bite my nails, shameful I know & the fact if I had the money I would buy everything Agent Provocateur ever designed.

26. FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Physically, my bum or eyes. Personality wise, my loyalty & the fact I'm upfront, you won't find me backstabbing or saying something I wouldn't say to somebody's face if I had to.

27. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Horseracing, Showjumping or Rugby.

28. HAIR COLOR? A cross between Brunette & Red, at the moment it's a dark chestnut. Naturally before I get accused of hitting the bottle! Lol

29. EYE COLOR? Dark Brown/Hazel.


31. FAVORITE FOOD? Hmmmm, difficult. Would depend on my mood but the main ones are Angel Delight, Custard, Home made Beefburgers or Roast Pork.

32. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings, too much of a wimp for scary movies!

33. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Erm, Love Actually. My Favourite 'chick flick' film, purely because of the relationships you can see being built & happening & the way people interact with each other. Oh ok, & it's romantic :o)

34. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Navy & pink stripe pj vest top.

35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer definitely for allsorts but I do love a bright blue sky/sunshine/frosty, crisp winter morning. The type where you can see your breath in the air :o)

36. HUGS OR KISSES? Both, depends who they're from.

37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Raspberry Pavlova or if I have a very very sweet tooth, sticky toffee pudding.

38. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Take care hun.


40. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Playing James by Sarah Mason, it's a chick lit book but if you ever read it the main character is scarily like me in the situations she finds herself in. Either chick lit or Dick Francis.

41. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE MAT? A few scuffs, it's a laptop so just a mouse touchpad.

42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? The usual suspects, soaps & the comedy stuff.

43. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SOUND? As we're talking sounds & not music. Small children/babies giggling or horse's hooves on a lane.

44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Stones without a doubt, although I do like Hey Jude. Mull of Kintyre though, well that should never have been allowed to be released! Yes I know it's Paul McCartney & not The Beatles but still hate it!


46. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yes, I can make the sides of my tongue touch each other, apparently thats a rare thing, although still completely & utterly useless! Lol

47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? A spa town that is famous for it's ladies college. Can anyone guess?!

So there you go, useless facts & habits of me but as I was too lazy to do a proper post & this amused me that's your lot, rambling will return when I can kick my brain into gear :o)

17 May 2007


....I bare more than a passing resemblance to the actress Louisa Lytton according to my mother, stepfather, brothers & sisters, friends & boyfriend so it's a pretty much universal agreement, the only difference being I have brown eyes & I don't possess any freckles. Her latest role is as a PC in that so true to life cop drama, 'The Bill', the point of this ramble is at least now I have some idea how I would look in Police uniform should I be lucky enough to succeed & they're mad enough to let me in ;o)

The result? Please somebody, get me some pro age cream & Miracle Grow, because I'm not sure I can face looking like I've lost my way to the fancy dress party!!!! Lol

I am particularly enjoying this week because I booked a week off, enjoying the lie ins :o)

I did go for some retail therapy in the end, you can tell I'm making the most of my (slightly) disposable income while I can! Haven't been into town for a while so decided I'd rather have a bit of time on my own & a mooch about with no interruptions due to not feeling myself at the moment which was nice, my spoils included some nice jewellery, a new bikini, Jeremy Clarkson's 'Born To Be Riled' book, he can be annoying but I do find him quite funny, a smock/trapeze top which as I'm so short fits perfectly as a minidress, great for summer with wedges but I'm also picturing it as looking rather nice with opaque tights & patent black round toe heels in the winter, a bargain for £12.00! Also, a similar print tunic with a black trim that is a nice pattern, would also look great with tights & patent heels & also a bargainous £12.00, bit less fitted than the other one so needs a belt otherwise I'm going to look pregnant! & some nice new pretty underwear, well, a few sets actually, I don't know why but I have a thing for nice underwear, it scores above shoes & makeup for me, maybe because it has something to do with being able to feel feminine & pretty/sexy? What do you think girls?! Whatever the reason it always makes me feel good :o)

Some of the purchases :o)

Although I settled for the yellow bikini in the end because it's more my colour, I am seriously tempted to get the turquoise one at some point :o)

Also like the patterned one below but the style isn't really me so it's a no, nice pattern & colours though :o)

14 May 2007

Strip Clubs, Lapdancers & Men

A fatal combination! Bit of a moany post but I'm not as happy a bunny as I usually am & it's the boyfriend's fault. He's recently moved further away which now means it's only really possible to see each other at weekends or if we both take a few days off as it takes about 2 hours to get to each other so last week we agreed I'd travel up this weekend to see him.
I go up on Friday & later in the evening I get told that there is a ''possibility'' he will be going out Saturday evening for a friend's birthday & lads night out but he tells me if he hasn't heard anything by Saturday morning he will leave it & we'll spend the weekend together, I don't kick up a fuss because I'm presuming he won't go & he doesn't seem that bothered anyway. Saturday morning arrives & at 11am he decides he will phone friend to see whats going on about this birthday night out, result of the conversation is he is going after all, sorry for the change of plan but hey, I don't mind do I?

I tell him that actually, yes I do mind being as I've taken the trouble to get up to see him & it isn't even midday Saturday yet so we haven't exactly had chance to do much, his reply was ''I told you about it, you knew it was a possibility'' riiiiight. I don't see the point of having an argument over it but let him know I'm not best pleased & come home. Text him that evening to tell him I'm home safe & I'll speak to him tomorrow (Sunday).

I knew they'd be going to a strip bar & that doesn't bother me because it's what blokes do, no different to looking at page 3 in my opinion & I think if you kick off then they'll still go but just keep it quiet.
He calls me on Sunday morning at 8am no less! To tell me he's on his way home, had a great night out etc etc, oh, & him & his mate had a private lapdance, ''it was great''.
Now I don't think I'm an unreasonable girlfriend, I'm not clingy, I'm pretty laidback & as long as I know what's going on I'm pretty chilled. I realise he has other people & things in his life as well as me but I do expect to be one of the more important ones.
I don't moan about him spending time with his mates, going out or anything like that & I'm not jealous or possessive, as in I don't think the worst if he's talking to other girls while we're out or if a girl gives him the eye, I trust him not to cheat & I'm not insecure nor do I turn into a screaming banshee if he goes out with female friends etc etc.

Lads night out & strip club - fine. Private lapdance - not fine, especially when it's me he's effectively given the boot for the evening when I've taken the trouble to travel up & see him, I told him this & his reply? ''But I walked you to the station'' Oh, whoopee do, sorry if I'm not being as grateful as you think I should be for that but I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND NOT A CASUAL F**K! I did say that to him & then took a deep breath before I lost the plot completely & explained WHY I wasn't happy & he still didn't get it as ''it was only a lapdance, not like I did anything''. Ok he didn't do anything but I don't think he's been fair, at all, so now I've told him how I feel about the whole thing it has led to a slightly cool atmosphere between us.

I don't understand why he doesn't get it because I'm pretty sure if I did the same thing he'd be reacting in the same way, luckily for him male strippers & dancers are not my thing at all! One thing I do know though is this, I won't be making such a big effort in future, I think it's about time he started making some. Don't get me wrong, he's brilliant in a lot of respects & does treat me well but I just felt a bit put out this weekend, the fact I'd made all the effort to get to see him, was good enough to spend Friday night with but come Saturday it's 'bye bye hunny I'm going out with the lads.' Even my closest male friend think's he's being unreasonable & should have spent the weekend with me being as I'd made the effort, it isn't even like I had a completely free weekend, I changed stuff I was going to do because he wanted to see me. It's also the last I will be seeing of him for 2 weeks & that makes me feel worse because I know I'll miss him, I just feel a bit unappreciated & taken advantage of & it isn't nice.
I think for the next month or so I won't make such a big effort & make him do some work, not to mention grovelling!

Just feeling a bit low & not that great seeing as this lapdancer was apparently so ''brilliant'', felt like saying to him well how about you ask her to be your girlfriend being as she is apparently that great. I feel so riled & it isn't like me, I think maybe him going away for 2 weeks will give me time to cool off & him a chance to have a think & maybe realise he hasn't been that fair. He's been pretty quiet the past few days so who knows, maybe he already feels slightly guilty. I know we're solid so it isn't that it's just as I said, I feel a little bit taken advantage of & walked over, maybe it's about time I started being a bit more selfish? Mens opinions welcome & I promise next post will be a sunnier one! :o)

4 May 2007

Asking For It?

I live in a small village which is about 40 minutes away from a smaller than average sized town. Last night a girl was walking home from a night out in this town & was raped, it's fairly shocked the local area because it is a quiet area but it is getting worse crimewise, like everywhere I suppose. I don't know the ins & outs of what happened to this girl apart from what's been put out on the local radio news so I won't comment on it because as I said, I don't know enough about it. What I will comment on & post about though is whether women 'ask' to be raped in certain cases.
Im 21, I love going out on the town with friends, I love wearing the latest fashions, be that short skirts, tight jeans & boots, clingy tops or corsets. I consider that to be reasonable, I don't go out looking like Ive just walked out of a glamour magazine or as though Im touting for business, I go out dressed fashionably & yes, sexy because I like to feel good about myself, but there are limits, I would never wear a skirt so short it showed the world & it's wife my delicates nor would I wear a top so barely there it was more of a bra than a top, there is a difference between dressing sexily & dressing downright slutty (& my mum would kill me if I ever did!)
If a girl goes out dressed in an extremely low cut backless top with no bra teamed with a bum baring skirt with only a thong underneath (or nothing, & yes I have seen a girl wearing the 'nothing', not a pretty sight) & stiletto boots then ok, she will obviously attract male attention & it certainly isn't my taste in clothes but I don' think she is 'asking for it'. If that girl then proceeds to go into a club or bar, start chatting to a particular man or a handful of men, start flirting, gradually getting heavier & heavier, she then allows him to buy her drinks, dances provocatively with him, kisses him, lets her hands roam all over his body & his all over hers, gives him the come on & gives the impression that the end result will be them sharing a bed at the end of the night. If she has been doing this say, for the past 4 hours that is alot of build up & alot of sexual tension. If she then, when it comes to hometime, says thanks but no thanks & then starts to walk home alone, obviously drunk then is she helping herself? She's walking home & all of a sudden there's the man she was dancing with back at the club, she smiles & asks what he's doing here, can't he get enough of her?! She carries on walking, stumbling every now & then, her top lower than it started out & her skirt higher than it started out, revealing more than she'd planned but hey, if you've got it flaunt she always says. She notices the man by her side again, except this time he's not so friendly, more pushy & she's not feeling so confident anymore so she starts to try & walk faster, then he grabs her, drags her down a side street & asks her is that how she gets her kicks? By teasing men then saying no? Well not this time he tells her, she's going to get what she asked for & tough. It doesnt take alot for him to force her legs apart with his knee, rip her thong off & unzip himself, he pins her against the cold rough wall with one hand holding a knife to her throat, telling her if she dare make a movement or sound it will be the last she ever makes, the other rips her top off, he then rapes her. When he's finished he pushes her to the ground & walks away, leaving her confused & panicked, in tears, completely shaken up & distraught. she gets up after a little bit, disorientated, confused & extremely distressed, feeling a mess because of the amount she's drank & realising in her alcohol addled brain she's just been raped but barely being able to remember what the man looked like, she sits there, finally struggling to her feet & holding her top together, stumbling towards the main street crying hysterically & screaming for help, saying to a passing couple through sobs & slurs that she's been raped, call the police, she wonders how this could have happened & wishes she'd never come out tonight, all she wants is to be at home curled up in bed safe & warm. As she's waiting for the police, the couple sat with her, all she can do is sob & try to make sense of what has happened, try to remember him, wondering why it happened.
Compare that to another situation. A woman is working late at the office, she is stressed due to working on a long & hard project & tonight is the finishing touches, she feels relieved but proud of her work. She thinks of her colleague & smiles, he's such a nice guy, friendly, helpful & a giggle too, she wonders to herself why he's single but has only ever thought of him as a friend personally & he knows that too, they laugh, chat & banter but they both know it will be nothing more than friends & work colleagues. Coincedentally he's working late that night too & noticing she is getting ready to leave asks if she fancies a drink at the pub across the road? She agree's, after all she's worked hard enough & it would be nice to just sit back with a glass of wine & unwind in some good company.
They make their way to the pub & end up staying for a few hours, until closing in fact, just talking, talking about work, colleagues & nothing in particular, using the time to wind down from work & look forward to the weekend. Last orders are called & they decide to call it a night, she gathers her coat & bag & prepares to call a taxi because although home isn't that far away she'd prefer not to take the risk at this time of night, alone & having had a drink or two. Her colleague then offers to walk her home, it isn't that far out of his way & he can catch the bus not far from her street, she thinks & decides yes, that makes sense, saves her a taxi fare & after all, she knows him, they're friends so where is the harm? They leave, he walks her to her door & after unlocking the front door & preparing to go inside she says goodnight & thank you. She goes to peck him on the cheek but he grabs her, forcing her inside, she is panicking now, asking what he's doing, why has he forced his way inside her home? He replies, saying she has been giving him the come on for months & its about time the teasing little bitch gave him what she's been promising him all these weeks, she protests, starts to really get scared realising what is about to happen, tries to reason with him, talk to him but he's having none of it, he pushes her down onto the floor & rips her clothes away from her, he then rapes her. She tries to scream but no noise will come, she wonders if this is really happening to her? Feeling the pain, the weight of his body, his breath against her ear, hears his grunts, feels the tight grip of his hands pinning her arms down, notices his aftershave, familiar somehow but not, not in these surroundings & this situation. He finishes, tells her he enjoyed their evening & he will see her next week. He lets himself out as she sits there, in the cold & dark wondering did she lead him on? Did she give out mixed signals? Is it her fault she is now in this situation? Realising she must call the police but feeling desperately ashamed & somehow responsible, guilty even, all she wants to do is scrub him off her, wash his smell away, his touch, wash HIM away but realising in her numb state she musn't, she needs to wait until she has seen the police, called them & reported him. Feeling sick to her stomach that somehow, surely she could have prevented this?

Both of these situations are different but the end result was the same, both women were forced to have sex, raped. But did either of them ask for it? Lead the man on? Send out the wrong signals? In the first situation I don't think she helped herself & I believe she is partially to blame, you cannot go out dressed like that, do what she did & then walk home alone expecting to be safe, maybe she should expect that & in a perfect world she would get that but this isn't a perfect world, there are men out there who won't take no for an answer, especially after the way she behaved.
The second situation? I don't believe she did ask for it, I go out for drinks after work with colleagues & I have done so, in a group but also alone with a male colleague, I know we are just work mates & friends. I don't give out anything that would signal anymore than that.
The word no should ALWAYS mean no, whatever the situation & however the woman is dressed/coming across, at the end of the day it is her choice as to whether or not she chooses to have sex. But do some women really help themselves? In some cases it isn't black & white & I believe that sometimes the woman is partially to blame, not wholly, partially. It takes two sometimes & I do wonder, if some women hadn't sent out the wrong signals or dressed to the point where they are showing their arse cheeks & worse whether they would have ended up being raped. I've seen girls dressed like that & I truly & honestly do not believe they are helping themselves & it is only a matter of time before they get into trouble.
Im not saying I'm lily white here because im not, I'm naturally cheeky & naturally flirty but I do always make it clear that it is only banter, either by mentioning that I have a boyfriend & am just one of lifes natural flirts & a bit cheeky or by putting a stop to things & backing off if it even hints at the man thinking he will be getting anything more out of me than just a laugh & a giggle, I also mak it clear & tell him bluntly that it is only a laugh & it won't lead to anything else, now or any other time. I also don't & wouldn't do anything physically unless I intended to follow it through, I believe that that is where the lines get blurred & where it can very easily & very quickly lead to a bad situation. I never walk home alone, I'll either get back home via a taxi or walk home in a group & becuase I generally always go out in a mixed group the men always make sure the girls get home safely before they get themselves home. I have the numbers of 3 taxi companies in my phone & if I know it's likely to be busy I'll book one in advance or stay at a friends. 1 of the numbers is for a female only cab company for when I'm in London & if they aren't available I always make sure I get a black cab, never a kerbncrawler. I realise it isn't that easy for everyone & that I'm lucky in quite a few respects but why do girls find it so hard to protect themselves by just taking the obvious precautions? By not walking home alone, not being a complete tease, not coming onto every man in her sight then backing off when the crunch time comes, not being completely irresponsible, drinking too much, or when something horrific does happen through her being a tease or being completely irresponsible, expecting other people to pick up the peices afterwards & blaming it entirely on the man. And don't even get me started on false accusations as that is a whole other story!
I hope to God I'm never unlucky enough to have to go to the police & say I've been raped, I know that it can happen to anyone in any situation & from anywhere but I truly believe that sometimes, with a bit of thought & a bit of responsibility & common sense, it could have been prevented. And I know I've used probably the most common scenarios above because there are multitudes of reasons & situations in which rape happens but without going into too great a detail they were the easiest to use & the most simple to get my point across. I hope I've made sense & I'm aware that some may find my words too harsh but it is what I believe & it is my personal opinion, I also think I can comment on this as I am a young female & I do go out on the town, as mentioned at the start.

It's just something I've always thought about & been aware of, especially recently & as I've got older which is why I thought I'd post about it :o)