28 December 2007

Oh so Camp

But oh so good! Shame it's not released until the 11th of February because it is such a New Years party song. So camp, a bit cheesy but somehow really good

23 December 2007


It was a no.

I got the letter on Thursday & the answer was "No". Basically, something that I didn't think would affect me, does. I didn't think it would affect me because it doesn't affect anything else in my life & doesn't affect me or what I do but apparently it means that I'm not upto/suitable for the Job. What really guts me is that I got good marks apart from that.

I was absolutely gutted when I read the letter & the reason, I even cried!

But it isn't as bleak as it first appeared as there are a number of options open to me which may mean I can get around it.

Option 1. Become a Special & "prove" myself before applying to the regs.

Option 2. Write to other forces & find out what their guidelines are.

Option 3. Find out if anybody else has my problem & whether they've managed to serve as a PC.

Option 4. Become a PCSO & get into the regs. that way (I really don't want this but if I have to do it, I will.)

Whatever I do I now have alot to think about because whatever I decide will affect me long term & also change my life because it's looking increasingly like relocation which actually, I'm not that bothered about as it is looking like the Met. I wanted to transfer there after probation anyway so it isn't too bad.

I've had lots of help from two people & they are continuing to be a help & find out what they can so that is excellent & much appreciated. If they are reading this then they know who they are. Thanks guys xx

The thing is, I really, really want this. I know I would be up to the job & I know that it is what I want, I'm as sure as I can be without actually doing the job that I'd be good at it, I'm good with people, I can handle things & handle myself & I love being part of a team & doing the best I can for people. I know I'd be willing to muck in & I know that it is the job for me & whatever it takes I am determined to get a "yes" eventually. Even if I have to go about it through a different path or it takes me a few years to achieve I am determined that I will get there.

I really want it & getting a no has proven to me just how much I do want it.
The steely determination I have comes in handy sometimes!
I will keep you all updated :o)

18 December 2007


Mr. S gave me a call the other night & as it was quite late I was in bed & because it was warm & snuggly I was kind of sleepy. You know when you're talking to somebody & you're aware of what they're saying & everything but you're just so relaxed & chilled out that you're sort of sleepy too? It was like that.
We were talking about general stuff, how his holiday is going, Christmas & what each of us are doing, what time we've put aside for ourselves to spend together etc etc.

By this point I was kind if struggling to stay awake, & I know that sounds terrible but I was really tired anyway & talking to him always puts a smile on my face & makes me happy so I was well & truly mellowed out.

Obviously he noticed this so we said goodnight & for a split second he went quiet then slightly hesitantly but like it was the most normal thing in the world, said
"I love you". & I said it back...
I know that doesn't sound a big deal but it is for me.
I've only said it once to somebody & got kicked in the teeth for it & I'm not one of those people that says it after going out with someone for a few weeks. It's a sentence that you actually have to mean to be able to say in my opinion.

I don't know why he chose then to say it but it was so lovely to hear. No showiness, no big deal, he just said it & the best thing is, he actually sounded like he meant it unlike the one who said it to me in the past.
You know when someone says something & you can't put your finger on why but it just sounds right? & feels right? It just does & I don't feel like I'm going to fall flat on my face, at the moment I feel that if I do fall, there will be something there to catch me. I know that sounds horrendously soft but it's true.

I'm really, really, really happy & can't wait for him to come back now.
Well, I couldn't before but especially so now.
And to think I wasn't even going to text him!

17 December 2007


If, like me, you are a music junkie & your mp3 player is more or less surgically attached to you then these are top & I highly recommend them.
They're Sennheiser CX300 ones & although the jack plug is not gold plated they have amazing sound quality. The music doesn't go muzzy or distorted, they don't hurt your eardrum because of crappy sound, the bass isn't tinny or just a dull 'thump' noise & the sound is just pure crystal. They are also really comfortable to wear & don't make your actual ear sore as the ear adaptors are nicely padded & very, very soft. They also block out any noise from your surroundings (handy when people are annoying you) just be careful when you're crossing the road! Lol

You also get three different sized ear adaptors to put over the actual earpiece so you can customise the fit & as long as you get the correct size the earpieces will not fall out unlike most others.
They also have a nice cord length, not so short you constantly feel as if they are going to fly out of your ear but not so long it ends up almost being a noose! Lol

They usually go for about £39.99/£40.00 but Play.com do them for £17.49.
I beat both & got mine off Ebay for a bargain price so am very happy :o)

And finally, introducing somebody I know of & her blog Good girl, getting worse. Take a look & have a read! :o)

14 December 2007


I am so envious. Mr. S decided he'd send me this pic the other day, just look at it! What an amazing view, & he's there for nearly two weeks! Meanwhile the best we've got is frost yesterday & overcast rain/drizzly mist today. Lucky bugger. Won't be leaving this pic up for obvious reasons, just thought I'd let everyone else see the stunning view & scenery. No wonder he's grinning like a Cheshire cat!!! It's safe to say I am suitably jealous! Lol.
& I'm still missing him, especially as he's looking particularly gorgeous in that pic :o(
Will just have to make do with the odd quick call from the payphone there, complete with crackly line. Lol

Got a gorgeous dress the other day, as a sort of out of the blue thing.

My sister bought this off of Ebay the other week & is stunning. By Miss Selfridge, 100% silk & very floaty & feminine. It was listed as a 10 but when it arrived turned out to be a 6, younger (16 yr old) sister tried in vain to do it up at the side but as she's broader than me it just wouldn't go. She was going to send it back as it was listed wrongly, she was, until I tried it on that is & it fitted perfectly! Actually, it may need taking in on the waist but apart from that is a perfect fit. I wanted it when it first came out but it sold out stupidly quickly so for a bargainous £13 I am the proud owner of a new summer addition to my wardrobe. It also goes amazingly well with my wedge sandals. It is truly gorgeous & I love it. :o)
As it's way too cold to wear it then I am off to console myself with Baileys laced hot chocolate, yummy!

12 December 2007

Wishing You All....

Glitter Photos

.......A very happy Christmas!

Appreciate your loved ones, let them know you appreciate them. Be happy & enjoy the time out from the world over Christmas day.

For those that are home, enjoy it, chill out keep warm & relax.

For those that are working it, stay safe & warm & enjoy it when you get home.

All of you have a healthy & happy one :o)

And from me, thanks for reading, for all the comments & the well wishes/supportive messages/good luck messages that have been left on some of the more difficult posts/police application posts.

Merry Christmas guys & girls!
Make it a good one!


Tink' is now an accurate representation of me, I have put my *amazing* paint editing (un) skillfulness to good use & given her auburn hair & brown eyes, yay!! Lol

11 December 2007

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Actually, make that absolutely freezing.

Mr. S is going away to France for two weeks of skiing which means he won't be back until the 23rd of December. It is rubbish & I will miss him loads :o(
This was all sorted last year before we got tog
ether otherwise I *may* have gone.

But, as I subtly pointed out to him, France is home to gorgeous underwear, top quality perfume & lovely champagne ;o)

He just grinned & winked.

On the plus side, I have found the nicest pair of pirate
boots ever. Brand new in a size 2 (!) on Ebay. Will post a pic when I have got them but they are a gorgeous dark purple/burgundy colour. Really pretty.

I so want snow for Christmas. We are supposed to be getting some, the roads keep having to be gritted round here lately so I hope, hope, hope we get snow for Christmas. :o)

I also heard this on the radio earlier, which means Christmas is officially here.
It is my favourite Christmas song. Possibly because it is the truth of some & not all glitzed up. & Kirsty Maccoll was an incredible talent. Shame Shane didn't keep himself in as good shape really! There is a live version on Youtube with Katie Melua taking Kirsty's place, he can barely string the song together & has not a tooth in his head.

6 December 2007

Material Girl

I haven't done a clothes post for aaaaaaggggeees! (which means this is a fairly long post) There is some stuff I've bought & some stuff that is on the never ending "want list".

I find it really frustrating with clothes sometimes as being so short & such a small frame stuff either swamps me or I end up looking li
ke I should be at school, neither of which are good looks.
It isn't too bad because I figured out ages ago
what suits me & what doesn't so I stick to that because after all, if it isn't broken, why fix it?
I find the general stuff that suits me is on the tailored side & has a vintage look. I can't wear bright patterns generally or if I do I have to be careful & I can't go for fashion that's on the slightly immature side because I end up looking about 12!

But I've had some really good finds lately & am well pleased :o)
Be warned, this post will co
ntain alot of pictures. Lol

First off are these trousers (or at least a very similar pair)

Love them, the cut is lovely & they are fitted & loose in the right places.
& they look excellent with a shirt I bought last week very similar to this (no pic online) but it is exactly the same except it isn't ruffled around the neck & has slightly more tailored sleeves

Also seriously considering this shirt from ASOS website. Sort of sheer & just on the right side of sexy without being outright slutty.

ASOS £40.00

Also bought a pair of these three quarter length trousers in the same grey tweed type material. Three quarter length trousers look hideous on me & as in fashion as they may be I refuse to wear them because they look so awful on me, I am ridiculously short anyway, in these I resemble an oompa loompa!
But as they were so nice & only £10 in the sale then I had the great idea of cutting them down to short type shorts. The semi fitted ones that look
excellent with black opaque tights. I can also wear braces with them & with my Victorian style ankle boots I have the illusion of legs, it's amazing!

Although I don't need any more boots (I think I have a boot fetish, I have about 15 pairs!) these are gorgeous. Really love them. They're from Topshop but they're £75.00.......

They are stunning though. This is veering into "want" territory now so I hope all of this is in the sale after Christmas. Or maybe I'll take a chance & put it on my Christmas list :o)

This blazer, Topshop £55.00
I really like it but I'm not sure about the pleating on the chest & near the shoulders, there's a risk of it looking 'boxy'.

Really like this sequin tunic but it's sold out online & in store *sob*. May have to comb Ebay but it's originally from Next. Absolutely love Next clothing. It always feels good, looks good & doesn't fall to pieces with wear. & it's always bang on trend without being cheap or try-too-hard looking. I'm not a bag type person as a rule but could do with a new one & this one from Miss Selfridge caught my eye. Although I need a bag big enough to hold all my junk I have to be careful because otherwise it looks as if the bag is wearing me!

£25.00 I think so not that bad really.
& it looks good, not plasticy like some.

I absolutely adore these, the heel looks a bit fearsome even for me but they are gorgeous.

As they are £120.00 though the chances of getting them are looking slim.
Definite Christmas list material but they are soooooo lovely! & quite sexy but I think but that could just be me.

I keep looking at them, I really might have to get them & live on toast for a week or so! Lol

The below for sheer cuteness (& the fact I do need some new pj's) & the slippers are just plain lovely!

Fairy print pj's, gorgeous. They have a sort of old fashioned fairytale type print & are lovely. Definite Christmas list again.

Miss Selfridge - £25.00

Pale pink white polka dot set (above) Accessorize - £18.00 (I think)

Lovely but not all that practical. If I lived on my own or just with Mr. S then I could walk around in them no problem but as I live in a household of 7 then bum baring pj's are just not ideal! Shame. Could still get them though, just wouldn't be able to wear them that often or maybe break the habit of a lifetime & use them to sleep in. They are very cute & girly.
Love these slippers & I'm getting them next week because they look so cosy & for some strange reason, although I'm one of those people that manages to stay warm really easily I suffer with cold feet so these are ideal.

Next kids - £10.00 So gorgeous!

Or these but they aren't so nice or cosy for that matter.
ASOS website - £6.00
Then again, at that price I could afford to get them as well as the bootie ones above.

And here, the lovely jewellery, belts, gloves & hats:

Mikey at ASOS charm necklace - £25.00 Really nice & it's long so breaks up jumpers/shirts a bit without being too much. As statement jewellery goes I love this. Love the colours, the style & the simpleness but at the same time the ornateness. It's also from Miss S & their jewellery doesn't have that 'cheap' look about it. Love it.

Miss Selfridge - £10.00

On my definite "want" list, either that or need to look out in the sales. Suede/leather wide belt with glass jewels from Topshop. Would break up a black polo/crew neck & skinny jeans really nicely. Would also look good with a plain dress & would also give me the illusion of bigger hips :o)
Wanted a trilby hat for ages. Hats suit me but I only have bakerboy caps or a few beanie hats. A trilby is different & I like the "rock chick" look of this one. It would also add to my height!! Lol

Accessorize - £25.00

Love the style & the delicate look of this bracelet. & the fact it has a bit of an 'antique' look

ASOS again - £10.00 (I think..)

If I had didn't have such small hands then I would be getting these. Still might, depends how much extra finger length there is :o( Really like the jewel button & the suede.

Accessorize - £18.00

Also thinking about these from ASOS petite range (I say "petite" but when you're 5'4 & under, a 30" inside leg does not equate to a petite size. Just because the range starts at size 6 it does not mean that it is petite!!! Arrggh!)

I really like the waist on them, they have a nice style with the wide fit leg & would look nice with heels & v neck jumper/shirt.

And purely because it looks sooooo nice, this coat. If they did a petite size I would be in love. not that it really matters because at £200.00 it is way out of my league at the moment!
Military coat - Topshop

That's it really. & considering I haven't been shopping or blogged about clothes for ages then I don't think it's that bad :o)

Guys, if you've actually managed to read this far then congratulations! If you've managed to read this far & are still awake & functioning mentally then top of the class & a gold star to you!! Lol

4 December 2007

School Daze

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about what went on at school, as you do. Mainly brought about by my noseying of Friends Reunited & honestly, can't believe what biggest part of my form/year has gone on to do & it's the ones that didn't pay any attention/always in detention etc that have gone onto achieve the most!

1 girl who I was quite good friends with is joining the police *shocked face*

1 has joined the fire brigade

1 has gone into acting as a fight choreographer

about 4 have got their own places/married/engaged/had children!

the clown of our whole year who was always in trouble is on an electricians course (I confess that we were banned from sitting next to each other because of the trouble we caused... *blushing*)

1 is a carpenter & has converted to Judaism (the one you would least expect to do anything like that!)

1 of the boys in my form is also joining the police

1 is living in Bristol & he was a proper mummies boy so he's the least I'd expect to be a party boy!

another few are at Cardiff/Bournemouth Unis

I have to say, I am quite shocked. Especially considering what some of us got up to at school.....

Like one term, three of the boys in my maths set (year 9 verging on 10) grabbing one of the super annoying & very gobby year 7's, rolling him in a gym mat & sicking him on top of the lockers outside the gym. He was semi wedged & all you could hear were muffled cries. I had to go & get two technology teachers & a science teacher to help get him down & got pulled into a load of detentions with the ones that did it! Because although it wasn't my idea (not entirely anyway)

"should have behaved in a more responsible manner!"

mainly because I was laughing when I had to get the teachers & doubled up practically when they were pulling him down. One of the funniest things I've ever seen!

Having a water fight in the girls toilets & soaking our RE teacher. I opened the door to run out & my friend chose that moment to chuck a load of water at me, except it missed me & hit him. I really tried not to laugh, I really did but it didn't work.
(that earned us a weeks worth of lunchtime chewing gum detentions & a written essay)

This one I am really not proud of but it's funny looking back....
I'd had a can of coke for lunch but had had to down it at the last minute because the bell had gone & the next lesson was English with a very stroppy English teacher. One of the class was halfway through a reading when a massive burp came from nowhere & it was really loud, I could do nothing to stop it.
G who was the troublemaker of our year immediately started laughing which set me off & the teacher, in no uncertain terms, told him off & sent him out of the class for being disruptive! Despite me telling her it was me & that I was sorry but I'd had coke for lunch, her answer?

"Don't feel you have to cover for him GND, he's always being disruptive & is not worth getting yourself into trouble for" !!!

He found it hilarious but I felt awful when he got landed with an hours detention.

Dodging cross country runs for 6 weeks during year 10 before being caught. Our school bordered farm land & one part of the run was only separated from the farm land by a very low stone wall. The other side of the wall was low enough for us to shelter behind & one spring instead of completing the cross country run, me & some other friends would hop over the wall & share a pre mixed bottle of JD & coke (pre hidden of course) we never got drunk but we did get merry on a few occasions & got caught by one of the games teachers as we were climbing back over. Our explanation of a possible unicorn sighting really did not go down well, despite us not being able to look her in the eye for giggles. That was a straight to headmasters office, letters home, a weeks worth of after school detentions & essay jobbie.

Being kicked out of assembly three times, once for my disruption (finding something that one of our head of years said that really wasn't rude, utterly hilarious because it sounded so filthy!) & following onto friends, once because of G & the other time because we were all in a silly mood. We were frogmarched out all three times & made to apologise when we'd stopped laughing our heads off.

Being kicked out of history & made to explain our actions because before the teacher had come in we'd done a very rude drawing & caption on the projector. Which ended up being projected onto the opposite wall three times the original size

The girl I did all that with is now joining the police, one of the boys is a firefighter, another boy is joining the police & the others are all at uni/college.

Some of the best days I've had, my secondary school days!! LOL

2 December 2007


Such loveliness! Really, I should stop looking but I think that would be asking the impossible to be honest.

I love this but the thing is, where would you wear it? It's hardly everyday going out wear is it?! & it wouldn't go with jeans. It's highly impractical but I still adore it & it is bargain basement price compared to what I usually like. £38.00. It's just so pretty & feminine & has steel bones instead of the fake plastic ones. Just gorgeous!
Maybe if it was darker colours you could get away with it. I just think it would be too over the top to wear out.

& this is the second....

Much more practical & steel boned again but £60.00. Which is still very cheap compared to what I usually fall in love with so it's not too bad :o)
It is actually gorgeous & far more practical, would look pretty with indigo jeans, Victorian boots & a Arrogant Cat sort of bolero jacket I have that has a bow at the back & sort of slightly puffed sleeves, it's in the style of a tux jacket but altered to be more feminine. It would all go very nicely I think :o)

Back view;

I have to say, I don't like the nylon cords at the back. They cheapen it somewhat but then they're easily replaceable, maybe with black ribbons or satin cords.

Or there is this set, which is gorgeous, for the grand total of £58.00. Lovely colour which quite suits me & I love the lace detailing on it as well. So pretty.

There is other stuff but I'll save that for a follow up post.

See how restrained I'm being?! It's all well below £100.00!

It's also all on my Christmas list :o) Lol.

1 December 2007

Comfort Zone

As in, I'm slightly out of it. For something that was just supposed to be a bit of fun things have taken a small step in the serious direction for me & Mr. S.

He has been working like a demon lately & consequently we haven't had much time together so last weekend, he booked a surprise weekend away. It is the nicest thing a boyfriend has ever done & I was really surprised but really happy, it was the effort he'd gone to that made it special & it was just lovely.

When I say serious I don't mean that it's been a fling all the while now but it's crossed the line into something a little bit more. I'm glad it's happened but I feel unnerved a bit, not because I don't want it to be like it is but because it means I can't keep being so guarded & keeping him at arms length sometimes.
It means I can't cover up problems or hurt with humour & a clowns face, or laugh them off & reverse the question, nor change the subject or pretend to be busy or go & do something that needs my attention right now. Because he knows my tactics & I feel like a little bit of my shield has been broken away & it isn't a bad feeling but it's a vulnerable one.

Like when you're stood on the top diving board & you really want to let go & you know you have to jump but you can't quite make yourself because there is something holding you back. You can either stay there & let it become harder or you can jump & take the risk of a smooth dive that makes you soar inside or one that smacks the air out of you & makes you never want to do it again.

It is so much easier to keep things to myself & separate for me to deal with than to let somebody get close enough to share the weight. So much easier to cover things up with humour & sarcasm or brush them away that it's a habit & it means I can push them to the back of my mind for that little bit longer. So much easier to sort everyone else out & make sure they're ok & have everything they need because it means I don't have to sort out what I feel.

It takes a while for me to trust somebody but even longer to let them get properly close, really & truly to let myself go. It's happened once, a few years ago & maybe at the time I shouldn't have been seeing anyone because the whole situation I was in just wasn't ideal. But it still didn't give him the right to completely take advantage of the whole situation & of me.

I know he's not like that but still I don't quite dare to take the jump because it's too far to fall & I don't feel that brave yet.

& in hindsight, maybe the lyrics of that last song I posted say more than I'll admit.