31 August 2008


They are complicated creatures.
Or total pain in the arses depending on the mood they catch you in.

I wouldn't mind getting into a relationship again but I'm not sure it's the right time so why do I have the following;

A. A good friend who has only ever been & will only ever be a good friend & despite knowing that still keeps hinting at dates? I don't want it but I don't want to be so harsh that it taints a friendship because he is lovely but he isn't for me.

B. Somebody who is on the bordeline between friend & acquaintance but who insists on constantly flirting, who I have known for a few years & have never given in to his advances because I know what he is after.
I don't know if that makes it worse though because I don't think he's used to girls saying no & I'm not sure he doesn't view it as a challenge. You'd think after 3 years he'd have given up but no, he's still as keen as mustard as was noticed by me the other night.
Whilst in the middle of a perfectly general conversation there was flirtiness on both sides but in my mind, more banter & how I am with everyone which he is aware of. In his, well, there's blunt & there's blunt isn't there? He was blunt about certain things. I was very close to being left speechless which for those who know me, is rare. I just about managed to claw a sarcastic comment from somewhere which had the mental effect of a cold shower.
Three years of no's is a long time. You'd think he'd have got the message wouldn't you?!

Job Hunting Part 2

Things I have discovered since I started looking for jobs are;

1. The Jobcentre is crap.

2. The Jobcentre website is even worse seeing as I enter a specific area & post code & rather than directing me to jobs in the general area I live in it directs me to jobs in Manchester! Go on, try it. Type in SW1 & it'll point you in the direction of situations vacant in Timbuktu. Useless.

3. Having Horsemart open in another tab is a very, very bad idea because it means I am distracted searching for & looking at horses I would have to sell both my body & soul to afford. And possibly a kidney &/or liver. This is not constructive but it is a lure hard to resist. £6,000 for a horse is out of my league & more, let alone £14,000.

4. After sifting through the Jobcentre website it is not a good idea to turn to YouTube for a Lee Evans fix.

5. Noseying at the HMV site at both music & DVD's is not the idea at all.

6. Since doing the above I have discovered that Gerard Butler makes an attractive view (I'd heard of him but I didn't know who he was you see, so when I saw a film with him in it I had to Google him)

7. I love Google ;o)

The Cake

Well, the cake will be appearing next week, I got the dates mixed up & was a week early for the anniversary celebrations.

It's a good job I was reminded before baking the cake....

27 August 2008

Kitchen Exploits

Not those sort of exploits...!

I seem to be slowly but surely mastering the art of cooking. Well, I say cooking but maybe more following instructions on packaging is a more honest description....

So far I have managed the following with no damage to myself, the kitchen or the utensils used.

1. Pasta with sauce.

2. Noodles.

3. Chicken in a spacesuit.

4. Salad. (O.K. That's stretching it maybe because that isn't really cooking.)

5. Cous-Cous.

6. Stir fry.

I didn't burn any of it. I didn't wreck any saucepans or semi injure myself with boiling water, sharp blades, hot pans, undercooked food or over cooked food. The microwave, toaster & smoke alarm are all still intact. Smoke alarm only semi intact after a disaster sometime around last September. Whacking it with a broom because I couldn't reach to turn it off was not my best idea ever, although it does still work so it can't be that bad.

So although it's very small improvements, improvement is still improvement.

Bouyed by this sudden lack of domestic accidents I am attempting to bake a cake tomorrow.
Keep your fingers crossed that;

A. It doesn't blow up in the oven (as the custard did once in the microwave despite me following the directions)

B. It doesn't burn.

C. It doesn't come out like a cement slab.

D. It doesn't come out so hard it could be used as a lump hammer (as the shortbread did that was so bad it had to be broken with a hammer & chisel & even the horses turned their nose up at it).

Wish me luck!

24 August 2008


The date was a failure. Three hours of chatting but somehow, he didn't feel the spark & not sure I did either. Disappointed of course but things happen for a reason.

Back to the drawing board! Lol

19 August 2008

Job Hunting

I absolutely hate it! Not because I don't want to work or don't want a job because I really do. It's the never ending sending off of C.V's, the endless enquiries & rounds of interviews only to be repeatedly told "We are very sorry but on this occasion we have decided not to employ you" or words to that effect. And that's if you're lucky, many don't even bother to reply but leave you hanging.

It's not like interviews are joyful affairs & they are a pain to do & I know from that it sounds as if I go in there with a face on & attitude but I really don't. That's what makes the rejection letter/phonecall/email all the worse.

So, wish me luck because I have started out on the endless round of interviews & frustration again.

Deep joy...

But I find this does an amazing job of killing the frustration if played at full blast on my mp3 player. I'm actually banned from playing them in the house because you absolutely cannot play The Prodigy on low volume or without decent bass & in my mother & step-fathers words they are "unacceptably loud". So I'll deafen myself with earphones instead :o)


18 August 2008

It's a Date Then

That was a bit of a surprise. The nice guy I met a few weeks ago now actually came out with it a week or so ago & asked me out. I predictably got quite embarrassed as I always seem to do unless I get taken hold of by a sudden show of false confidence.

I have been really cautious here because the past few months, relationship wise at least, have been a mess. So I have not rushed anything & sort of ignored his subtle requests to go for a drink (I sound like a complete cow but it was ignored in a nice way!)

So, after 3.5 weeks of phone conversations & the odd text he said "OK. I know you've told me you don't want to rush into anything but you sound absolutely lush, I really like you & please can I just take you out for a drink? Say yes?" Yes, I was pretty embarrassed but I did say yes because if a man stays in touch for a total now of 5 weeks without pushing for anything then I think that's a pretty good sign of him being decent.

He's been on holiday for the past week & even took the time to phone then, although that was maybe because he was checking the date set for our drink was still ok & I told him I had loose plans to watch paint dry so I might have to cancel. He phoned me to tell me that I could be quite mean & that I shouldn't find it as funny as I did (even though he was laughing just as much!).

So, plus points so far;

Horses. Yes, he loves them & knows how to ride properly. That is a huge bonus.

Animals of all kinds.



Would rather meet up with friends for a drink than go full on clubbing.

And other stuff which means you have a lot in common.

Negative point;

He's tall. 5'11/6'0. Why do I always end up with tall men?!

17 August 2008

The Weighing Game

Argh! Frustrated. You know they say you always want what you haven't got & then when you've got it, you realise it's not so great after all? Grass is greener syndrome maybe. Well, I have that.

I used to wish I could have something resembling a cleavage & some curves that at least look like I have hips & now I've got them, I hate them & wish they'd go. I've gone from a 4/6 dress size to an 8 & I feel huge. I know that sounds stupid but it's how I feel & because I'm short, every ounce shows.

I've always been conscious about my weight, unhealthily so sometimes but now I just keep myself on an even keel by not eating junk but because of hospital & not riding, half the activity I used to do is now not there so I've put on weight. In fact, it probably isn't so much weight as needing to tone back up again.

My body doesn't suit being curvy, I look much better being on the slim side. It's how I've always been & I am just tiny. I have no hips to speak of, hip bone to hip bone is 11.5 inches & my 11 year old sister has broader shoulders than me & is a full 2 inches taller!

So with all that in mind I am going back down to a dress size 6. Not because I'm bothered but because I feel happiest & most comfortable at that dress size & for the past goodness knows how long I've naturally been that size.

So for the past few weeks it's been in with the salads & out with the chocolate. Yes, I've even given up chocolate apart from the odd square & I am a fiend when it comes to dark chocolate so that is an achievement indeed!

And as extra incentive I have my jodhpurs to get into seeing as they are a bit snug at the mo & they need to be comfortable by the first week of October as I have a riding lesson booked. I have butterflies of excitement already at that thought so I am counting down the days :o)

9 August 2008


Absolute bliss. As you may have gathered by now I'm pretty in to my music & can generally be found plugged into my mp3 player or with a C.D on.

So considering I spend so much time assaulting my ears with noise it's important to me I have some decent ear buds/ear phones.
I did have Sennheiser ones until they broke, & then Sam grabbed them off the table the other night & chewed the ear buds off.... It's a good job he has a cute face! Lol

The Sennheiser ones were ok but the more I used them the more fault I found (yes, I know. Supremely picky).
Soooo, the requirements were;

1. Must not fall out of ears. These sit absolutely still & don't budge.

2. Must not rub ears so you get blisters. These have super soft silicone tips.

3. Must be comfortable. So comfortable I can't feel them in my ears.

4. Must be good quality sound & not give me earache with so much bass that that overrides anything else. Perfect sound in my opinion.

5. Must do a reasonable job of drowning out all outside noise. Drown out 99% of outside noise.

Bose ear buds fit the bill perfectly.
I'm very happy because it now means I can listen to whatever I like at whatever volume I like without being shouted at to turn it down/off & as an extra bonus, they drown out the sound of a hormonal 11 year old & a super hormonal 17 year old.

Pure & unadulterated bliss :o)

5 August 2008

Wait Mr Postman!

Oh dear. Little sister (A) has become aware of the male of the species, well, she was aware before but only fleetingly, the sound of horses hooves was far more likely to get a rubberneck reaction than any attractive male is ever likely to get. But it seems that may have changed slightly as she confided in me, over the washing up, that she fancies our postman!
He's actually not bad looking but A surprised me, mainly because since she's hit 17 she's gone from horse mad to horse mad but also noticing men more, not sure I'm happy with that to be honest even if she is perfectly capable of looking after herself in the main.

So, the scene played out something like this;

Me: washing up, talking about general stuff.

A: Hmmm. *silence* You know our postman?

Me: Yes, I think so.

A: I really fancy him

Me: *Hysterical laughter*

A: It's not that funny you know!

Me: No, ok. Maybe not to you.... *stifled snigger*

A: Don't tell mum

Me: O.K. *calls out to mum*

A: Hastily wraps the tea towel around my mouth, in effect gagging me. (she has the advantage of height you see!)

Me: *laughing hysterically & trying not to choke*

A: *removes tea towel* Don't you think he's quite cute?

C (11 year old sister): Who's quite cute?

Me: Our postman, A fancies him.

A: *Dagger look & hasty denials*

C: *short silence* Oh My God! You fancy him?! *stunned, contemplative silence* but he's so old! He's like, 34!!!!

Me: That isn't old C, that's quite young in the great scheme of things.

A: He's not 34 he's late 20's maybe!

Me: Still too old for you

A: You have no room to talk or lecture on that.

Me: No, possibly not. But he's still too old for you. Anyway, you only ever look from a distance!

A: Maybe I'll ask him if he wants coffee!

Me: *shocked* You wench!

A: Joke, it was a joke!

C: (after sitting listening to this exchange but pretending not to) I don't care. He is old. I can't believe you fancy him. You know if you marry him he'll die before you?

Me: He is not that old & he won't die before her, you on the other hand, might.

A: I'm not going to marry him! I only said I thought he was cute!

C: I don't care, he's old & you have bad taste *flounces out*

A: Do you think he's cute?

Me: Suppose so. He's ok.

C: *flounces back in* Oh my God, you fancy him so that means you want to....kiss him? Properly kiss him? *disbelief etched on face* Oh my God. I can't believe you want to do that with him! Anyway, does he know you're moody all the time?

Me: *stifled laughter* Whatever, you'll change your mind in a few years anyway C.

C: *flounces back out with disgusted look on face*

*short silence*

A: He looks nice in his uniform

Me: What, a postman?!

A: Yes!

Me: *Oh God*

Poor, poor, postie.

No wonder she's been so keen to get the door when it goes of a morning!

Love Is Noise

Do I like it? Or don't I? I think it's maybe one of those tracks that grow on you the more you listen to it. Really wasn't sure the first time I heard it, not at all. Then the second time I didn't find it so bad & the third time I actually liked it.

It's the weird noises in the background that are throwing me though, strange. Still, Urban Hymns was one hell of an album so far as I'm concerned & I'm not sure they'll better that but I have the Forth release date earmarked so we'll see.

The real thing that's worrying me though is the fact that my sister likes it a lot & she classes Blink 182 as a 'talented' band so either her taste is improving due to my influence or mine is declining! Lol

Oh well, it beats my stepdad's opinion of music & "That fifty pence chap"....... Sometimes, there just ceases to be any sort of hope!

3 August 2008

A Worthy Cause

Well I think so anyway. It's the Racing Welfare charity & as quoted from their website; "Racing Welfare is racing's leading welfare Charity that provides help and support to all of racing's people including employers, employees and the retired, who may be in need, through accident, illness, age or misfortune."

In my eyes it's a very worthy charity. Many go into a career in racing straight from school & don't leave until beyond retirement age if they are not injured or leave the job through not being able to hack it.
It's one of the hardest career choices there is. You are up generally at 5am to be on the yard for 6am, quite often the day will not end until about 8pm-9pm all being well. If one of your charges goes down with colic you go out & you walk it, you keep it on it's feet & you wait until the vet arrives, & it makes no difference whether that's 3pm or 3am.

But anyway, the video will put it far better than I ever could :o)

I can understand why they do it though. Riding is an adrenaline rush anyway but riding at speed with high risk is something else, it's an addiction. Especially on well bred horses that are made to run.
I can also understand the need to get back on a horse after one has landed you in a hospital bed or a wheelchair.
I've had my own horses for the past 13 years & have been around them for the past 17 years & once you've fallen in love with horses you've fallen in love forever, no matter what the cost or the discomfort at times.
I've been horse crazy from day one & it was confirmed when I would go mad at the sight of a horse as a toddler & completely ignore dollies.
It's not an obsession but it is something that will always be in my life. And for those that go into racing, the risk is higher than most & the interest is more than a hobby, it's a way of life all year round, year in & year out.