11 September 2008

Birthday Surprise

It's my birthday today. I had a surprise yesterday (the 10th)

My dad actually bothered to 'phone me. To wish me happy birthday. It completely passed him by he'd got the wrong day.

He also said he'd sent me a card (it'll be the first time in five years I've got a card from him so I'm not holding my breath for it to arrive)

The proof was in the pudding so to speak because at the end of the conversation he decided to ask me a question.
The question being "By the way, how old are you?"

I don't know which is worse, the fact he actually called & got everything completely wrong or him not bothering full stop.

It's the first contact I've had in I don't know how long from him. Just as I get used & settled with him not being in touch, he calls. When I then expect him to call, he drops off the radar again.

He didn't bother when I was in hospital earlier this year, nor when I'd come out.

I was civil to him.
Nothing will change & nothing will sink in so what's the point in getting cross?

I don't know, I'm past the tears, past the anger, past the anger, past the frustration, past the hurt to a large extent.
I'm past being sad about it all really, I'm resigned to it & expect it of him & that really is sad.

I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a another time
We might as well be strangers
Be strangers
For all I know of you now
For all I know

He's upset me so much in the past & done so much harm that I can't forget it.

Sometimes, I really do think it's much better when people leave wounds alone & stop picking at the scab.


Rae!xx said...

Happy birthday darl, hope you have a lovely day...also hope everything is good now after the op...xx

cogidubnus said...

Belated but heartfelt Happy Birthday wishes to you GND...and like Rae, I hope everything's looking good with that there knee of yours...

Chapati said...

just discovered your blog...happy belated birthday :o)