31 December 2009

Happy New Year

Happy New Year guys and girls!

I am a bit gutted as I had planned to go in to town with friends and my older brother to see in the New Year but I have gone down with this horrible flu bug that is going around and despite dosing myself up on painkillers, I am still feeling awful :o(

So the only celebrating I shall be doing tonight is to watch Jools Holland's Hootenanny while snuggled under my quilt with iboprofen and plentiful amounts of honey and lemon.

I hope the New Year brings everything you wish it to and I hope those who are working it stay happy, healthy and safe.

Despite feeling ill I cheered myself up by having a look at the sales online. I was very good as I only spent £20.00 including postage and packing.

My buys were;

Sequin jacket from Peacocks reduced from £40.00 to £12.00. Bargain! I wanted this when it was full price as I'd been looking for a sequin jacket for ages but couldn't find one that fitted right or was in my budget. This has cropped sleeves so they won't be too long and it is fitted enough that it won't swamp my petite frame. It will look great with the shorts below or some skinny jeans.

Grey snake print denim shorts reduced from £14.00 to £4.00. I like these as I think they'd look great with tights and either ballet pumps or my black suede pirate boots and a vintage t-shirt.

Grey button vest top reduced from £4.00 to £2.00. A good basic vest that can be dressed up or down.

I hope the jacket fits and the shorts. I saw the shorts instore and they come up quite small so I went for a bigger size than normal. I can always use a belt for them.
Ditto the jacket as I'll wear a t-shirt underneath and I don't want it to feel tight across my shoulders.

I just have to wait for it all to arrive now!

27 December 2009

2000 Miles

I'm feeling a little bit sad tonight.

The New Man is in the Navy and he is on deployment to Norway at the moment.
He went away on the 8th of November and returned on the 13th of December for the Christmas period.
I've seen him & spoken to him a few times but he has had to cram visits to all his friends and family in before the 2nd of January which is when he goes back out to Norway again.

The only problem this time is he is going to be away until the last week of March/first week of April.

I am going to miss him a lot.

Technology is brilliant, at least we can keep in touch via Skype and MSN but it is just not the same as being able to see him in the flesh & be held by him.

On top of this there are difficulties in his life going on and of course I understand that he is stretched for time while he is in England and of course I appreciate the effort he makes to keep in touch with me while he is in Norway, especially as we haven't really made things 'official' yet, but it is still hard to not be able to see him properly.

I got a bit tipsy on Christmas day and Boxing day and as some long-time readers will know, I find it hard to be truthful about my feelings in a relationship and to allow myself to be vulnerable.
I know I put barriers up and I know I am not the easiest person to be with in the fledgeling stages of a relationship as I am too independant.
I don't give the person I am seeing enough opportunity to grow close to me as I find it hard to allow my emotions to be seen for fear of getting hurt.
This has been a self-destruct type thing once before and since then I have tried to make the effort to allow myself to be more vulnerable with a partner and to not cut myself off so much emotionally.

Because I was tipsy over Christmas I plucked up the courage to text him and tell him that I liked him an awful lot and although I wasn't speaking marriage proposals and babies, I want him to be around for a while.
I was very embarrassed the next morning and I didn't hear from him all day and so I thought maybe I'd scared him off so imagine my delight when he text me back to say that I didn't need to be scared because he liked me also. Alot.
And that when he got back from his last stretch in Norway he wanted to work on us getting to know each other properly and that he'd take me away for the weekend so we could spend some quality time together.

I had a little grin on my face for the rest of the day.

It's hard to explain but this thing that's happened, that I honestly expected nothing more than a friendship from, has been a lovely surprise.
Even more so when I consider we have such similar personalities, that the five hours I spent with him the other week felt no more than one hour and that conversation just naturally flows between us.

Mr S was special and I thought things would last with him and it was a revelation to me that a relationship could be that good but I didn't feel this relaxed even with him and things weren't this easy & harmonious with him either.
I didn't think things could improve on how Mr S was so this is a bit of a lovely surprise.

I really will miss the New Man when he goes to Norway but I am so looking forward to seeing him when he gets back.
He is special.

And today's song is;

The Pretenders - 2000 Miles.

It describes my situation perfectly at the moment! :o)

24 December 2009

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas everyone! I hope you all have a lovely time and that the New Year brings all you wish for.

To those working over the festive period; May it be as hassle free as possible and I hope you all stay safe, well and have a lovely, happy and restful time with your loved ones when home time comes round.

The past year has been a bit of a so-so one for me and not all that good in some areas but amazingly fantastic in others. I hope things keep improving and I desperately hope I become one of the employed rather than what I feel, is dossing!

Have a fantastic time everyone and stay safe, warm and well xxxx

23 December 2009


I went to Olympia last Thursday & all was well until it came to getting my train home. I allowed 45 minutes for a 15 minute tube journey only to miss my train by two minutes.

Off I went to the information desk to find out when the next available train was to my local station & was told it was at 22:15 & I would need to change at Bristol Temple Meads to catch a connecting train that would get in to my station at 01:15.

I arrive at Bristol Temple Meads, ask what platform the train goes from only to be told "Sorry love. This is the last train of the night. The next train is at 06:15 tomorrow morning"


I sat in the waiting room of Bristol Temple Meads Station with a long night ahead. I tried calling a a taxi company & was told the journey home would cost £90.00.
I had £15.00 cash on me so that was out of the question.

Two friends who could have helped me out were not available (considering it was 1am in the morning that is not surprising).

Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, the waiting room door flew open & I was told I had to leave by a very grumpy station worker.

Conversation as follows;

Grumpy Station Man - "We're locking up now. You need to get going"

GND proceeds to explain her problem & asks if there is either a 24hr greasy spoon/supermarket etc nearby or failing that, a police station that might be open?

G.S.M "No. not at this time of night. We're closing in 5 minutes so you need to be gone by then"

GND "Fine. *sarcasm on* Thanks so much for your incredibly helpful advice *sarcasm off*

I make my way out of the station & luckily, bump in to a very helpful Station Worker who tells me that there is a 24hr ASDA a matter of 10 minutes taxi ride away & a taxi rank just to the side of the station.

Thanking my lucky stars I go & join the queue for the taxi rank & when it comes to my turn, get a taxi with a very helpful driver who not only was astonished at the attitude of the one station worker but also waited outside ASDA for me to make sure that the Manager would let me stay in their 24hr cafe.

The Manager of the 24hr ASDA was incredibly nice & made sure I was OK sat in the corner of their canteen.

Five hours later & I found myself with yet another very nice taxi man who wished me a very safe journey & knocked a couple of pounds off of my taxi ride as I had £4.00 on me at that point.

I got on my train & managed to get to my station. Thinking I was safely home & dry I went to exit the the carriage only to be nearly knocked off my feet by an extremely rude middle-aged man who despite clearly being able to see I was about to exit the train, barged on to the carriage with his case meaning that when I got my feet & wits back again, the doors were closing & my bag got squashed in the automatic door, delaying the train by five minutes & leaving me with a very nearly squashed & broken riding whip.

Five minutes later I was home & safe but greeted by my mum telling me not to be so damn stupid next time! Erm, stupidity would be leaving 15 minutes for a 15 minute tube journey, not allowing 30 minutes for any delays!
I was awake, in total, for 39 hours as by the time I got home, I'd gone completely past the stage of tiredness & my body was on autopilot & quite wired.

To the man at Paddington who gave me the wrong information; I appreciate that English is a difficult language to learn & you are probably doing your best but if you are going to work in a position that requires you to advise people on journeys then it may be best you re-think your career.

To the Grumpy Station Man; I realise it was partially my own ditziness that got me in to the above mess but you really do not need to be so rude to somebody who is obviously in a bit of a trouble & quite upset at realising they may have to be sat on the streets all night. Particularly as they are female, young & slight.
A bit of good old fashioned advice goes a long way.

To the lovely & very helpful station worker; You won't ever know how relieved I felt at your information & directions & the fact that your few kind words went a long way in a stressful situation.

To the lovely taxi driver; Thank you for being a gentleman & raising a smile when all I felt like doing was having a little cry.

To the 24hr ASDA manger; Thank you too for being a gentleman & allowing me to doss in your canteen for the night. I have sent a letter of thanks to you.

To the kind taxi driver who knocked a bit off of my fair; Thanks for not making me feel worse than I already felt & thank you for your kindness.

To the bad mannered middle-aged man; I hope if you have a wife, sister, mother or daughter, that nobody ever treats them with the disrespect & blatant bad manners that you treated me with. And if they do, & you find out about it, that you have the good grace to remember what you did & feel ashamed of yourself.
Nobody should be treated with such shocking ill manners but especially a woman (because I'm an old fashioned kind of girl & believe that gentlemen should behave as such).

*Note to self* Book a room next year & stay overnight!

A now much warmer, less stressed & far less tired GND.

15 December 2009


I always do it. I wish I didn't now because I've had my eye on Denman since his heart scare last year & the odds for him in the Gold Cup were 6-1. They're now 2-1...

I was going to put a bet on him before he ran in the Hennessy Gold Cup but for some reason, didn't. He won it easily & now the odds are, quite frankly, rubbish.

Anyway, I love this horse & *drum roll* I'm going to be at the Gold Cup this year. After many setbacks either financially or healthwise I am now definitely going to the 2010 Festival. So that's my tip for the Gold Cup; Denman.

I will have to bundle myself up because A. It will be absolutely freezing cold & we're in the stands with all the commoners & B. It may provide a bit of padding against the crowds that I will no doubt get squished in!

Track for today;

Flogging Molly - If I Ever Leave This World Alive.

7 December 2009


What a novelty to like someone, really like them and be completely at ease with them. To know they're as interested in you as you are in them.
To be relaxed and not feel under pressure. To be able to just enjoy what's happening, not feel like it's going to go wrong or that they are going to hurt you. To know that whatever happens, they will always respect you and treat you fairly. To be able to click with someone mentally as well as physically and feel happy around that person.

To have that person coax you out of your shell and reassure you that things are ok. To be able to talk about everything and nothing with them and it feel completely natural.
To be completely happy to go with the flow and to feel so at ease with that person.
To be able to trust them no matter what.
To be able to have banter and teasing with that person and laugh your head off with them.

Neither of us have made things 'official' so to speak, we're at the inbetween stage where it's not casual but also not defined as boyfriend and girlfriend because of a few complications that will be around until the New Year. Not, I hasten to add, because he is involved with anyone.

I feel so relaxed, happy, safe, secure and calm around him. I feel like I and my feelings are valued by him and that even if things don't work out, I know he wouldn't be a bastard to me.

I didn't even feel like this with Mr. S. I don't feel like I have to be trying all the time, I don't feel like he's spinning me lines and I feel I can be totally myself with him & that that will be completely ok.
I've made it crystal clear that I am not interested in a one night stand or a fling because my emotions get involved and I would rather be alone than just be used when it suits and that is more than ok with him.
I have taken a step back slightly, watched and waited to see what happens, sort of tested him.
He makes the effort, he puts himself out for me and he listens to me.
He fights my corner and reassures me when things are tough.

He makes me laugh and he 'gets' me.

I'm happy to stand back and go with the flow because I know his head won't be turned by the next pretty girl to walk by and that he will always be honest with me and in turn, I can be honest with him.
He gives me confidence in myself and makes me feel like the most desirable girl on earth. I can trust him.

We've been getting to know each other since September, talking and spending time with each other. And so far it feels amazing.

I don't want him to change his mind about things.

"I've caught myself smiling alone,
Just thinking of your voice.
Don't let me fall again for nothing more."

6 December 2009

I ♥ This

I love Snow Patrol. They can do no wrong in my eyes & I am loving this.

'Just Say Yes

I love the lyrics.

I'm running out of ways to make you see
I want you to stay here beside me
I won't be ok and I won't pretend I am
So just tell me today and take my hand
Please take my hand
Please take my hand

Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

It's so simple and you know it is
You know it is, yeah
We can't be to and fro like this
All our lives
You're the only way to me
The path is clear
What do I have to say to you
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear

Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

Just say yes, coz I'm aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in

I can feel your heart beat through my shirt
This was all I wanted, all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want

Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

Just say yes, coz Im aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in.

I think if somebody felt that way about you, it would be pretty perfect.

28 November 2009

Fancy Pants

As some will know, I love & adore Agent Provocateur & Myla lingerie but on my budget, it is a case of window shopping only.

So imagine my delight when I took an idle look on ASOS & saw these:

I love them! They are just like the real A.P lingerie & the tutu is seperate to the knickers so they are flirty but practical too. All for the bargain price of £3.00.

And I got these because the colours are great & they are just fun.

Again, these were also £3.00. They are very cute.

I also really like unusual jewellery. I don't like paying too much for stuff in case it breaks or I lose it so this perfume bottle pendant at £6.00 was too good to miss. It goes really well with the unicorn pendant below & a silk chiffon blouse I have.

And lastly, the unicorn pendant. I love the horse aspect of it but also it's quite quirky. And cheap at £3.00.

I was debating on whether or not to get this as well as the perfume bottle because I need to stretch the pennies at the moment but I really liked them & I'm glad I got them as not long after I'd placed the order, the unicorn necklace went out of stock.

I think my favourites are definitely the pink tutu knickers though. Cute, cute, cute. :o)

23 November 2009


I am at the age now where I am starting to realise the value of staple wardrobe items rather than fad fashions.

I admit that I don't like spending loads of money on clothes. It somehow feels 'wrong' & I think I've probably got this from my mum. I do buy clothes but they tend to be in the sale or from outlet type places.

The most I've ever spent on boots is £100 & that was my long leather riding boots. But they are a true investment as I enjoy my riding & I wanted a boot that would last me & last me & with care my boots still look as good as new.

I see lots & lots of things I like when it comes to fashion but when push comes to shove, I find it difficult to splash the cash on something unless I can honestly justify it.

Anyway, this year I have been scouring the shops for a decent Winter coat. I have plenty of dress coats but they are just that & useless for actually keeping me warm. I have to be careful what I look for because as much as I may like something, particularly a coat, when it comes to trying it on I look swamped in it. The arms are very often too long & the proportions aren't right.
I also wanted a style that wouldn't date & one that was at least 50% wool but that wasn't heavy or bulky.

I was beginning to give up until I found this...

Stud Trophy Jacket

I love it. I got it in an 8 as that way, I can wear jumpers underneath it as well as just a top. The arms will definitely be too long but a dressmaker is a friend of the family so I'm sure if I speak to her nicely, she'll alter it for me :o)

Another bonus is, my mum let me get it on her account card which I'm very glad of because otherwise I would not have been able to afford it!

I can't wait for it to arrive. I just hope it's as good in real life as it looks on the internet.

I'm so pleased with it!

Track for today - Little Jack Frost

22 November 2009


I do get hay fever in Summer & it seems to be getting worse & worse each year. The puzzle is, why am I still getting hay fever-type symptoms in November? Sniffly nose, random attacks of sneezing, runny & itchy eyes.

I'm thinking I'm allergic to something or someone.

It's either;

Dogs. Not too likely as I wasn't allergic to Sam last year.

Dust mites. Never had any problems before with them though.

Flowers. My mum loves them & has one or two massive vases in the living room/hallway.

My horse. This option does not bear thinking about to be honest.

The sister. Not only is this a highly feasible option but also a glimmer of light at the end of a very long tunnel. She's 12 years old & a walking moodswing. I am torn between bashing her over the head with a mallet or just doing the clean & quiet pillow thing ;o)

If indeed I am allergic to her & her flouncing & hair tossing then it's perfectly reasonable to put her down on the 'For Adoption' list.
Or just leave her tied up to a faraway lamp post with a 'Please, do NOT return to sender' sign strung round her neck....

On a serious note, I really do not know why I am still getting hay fever symptoms in Winter & I am just wondering what it might actually be.

Track for today -

I know, it's not even proper music.... Inexcusable & the lyrics are filth but it's got in my head. I usually hate all things GaGa too.

Something is obviously wrong somewhere!

19 November 2009

I ♥ Winter

I love the Winter. It is definitely my favourite time of the year.
Unfortunately, the rest of my family think I am a freak for having this view.
There's so many good things about Winter time, like;

Frosty weather. Walking out of a warm house & in to a sparkling morning or afternoon & having the cold air hit your face is one of the best things.

2. Dark Winter evenings are the perfect excuse to wear sequins & glitter.

3. I have an English Rose complexion. Summer sun turns me a not very fetching shade of red & I get very red cheeks. Winter just makes me look pale & interesting with a rosy glow.

4. I get to wear as many pairs of boots as I please. Although not all at once, obviously.

My fair skin means bright colours don't really suit me. Deep, rich Winter colours look much better.

6. Being able to wrap up in my snuggly jumpers & go for walks.

Burying my cold hands in my horses mane. Even better when I can pretend she actually likes me for me rather than the Polo's I always have in my pocket. Lol

8. Fireworks & bonfires.

9. Christmas is round the corner & hearing little children chatter about Father Christmas is something that would melt the hardest of hearts.

10. The hope of snow.

11. Freezing cold mornings that make you ever greatful for fluffy slipper boots & hot, strong coffee.

12. The Festival is drawing ever closer.

13. Feeling like the only person in the world on a really early, crisp & clear morning.

Bad things about Winter;

Slipping A over T in mud at the stables. Then having to get home with a mud stained rear end. So not a good look.

Slipping in puddles & missing the wet bit by the skin of my teeth. If I had bigger feet I estimate about 67% less slippage would occur!

Being jumped on by a not yet totally trained Irish Setter who leaves sticky, muddy paw prints on my nice cream, knitted hoodie. It's a very good job I love him....

Now the hedged meads renew
Rustic odour, smiling hue,

And the clean air shines and tinkles as the world goes wheeling through;

And my heart springs up anew,

Bright and confident and true.

Robert Louis Stevenson.

Track for today - How Can I Keep From Singing.

17 November 2009

Soldier Boy

I hate feeling negative about this but I can't help it. My brother, the brother who has been a complete twonk the past 10 years has decided to join the army.

He phoned my mum up last night to tell her he wanted to join. I don't know exactly what he is signing up for but his reasons are for a steady job & so that he can try to discipline himself more. He thinks the discipline would be good for him & he thinks he needs to grow up.

I'm really pleased that he realises he needs to grow up but I know what L is like & it will go one of two ways, he will either take to army life like a duck to water or he will rebel & leave when his time is up, coming out worse than he went in.

I hope it's the former. And I do know I sound negative & maybe I'm being unfairly harsh but I haven't let my views be known to him. I just let him know I was pleased for him.

Track for the day - Sho Heen

8 November 2009

Remember Them

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Flanders Fields by John McCrae has always conveyed perfectly to me the massive loss, grief & pain that war brings. Please remember those that have paid the ultimate price in going to war, those that have had their lives altered beyond recognition through physical & mental injuries & the loved ones who also have to adjust & cope with the aftermath. Today is for them. May they never be forgotten or the respect for them lost.

7 November 2009


That's all I have to say for my new sparkly bits. I went to the Chemist the other day to get the boring usual of shampoo etc & got magnetically drawn to the makeup stand. Mainly because it was sparkling like Aladdins Cave.

I could not resist buying two of Collection 2000's glitter wands. I bought silver & gold & the other colours are next on my list.

I admit that I am a fully signed up beauty junkie & will always check out the new makeup in Boots just in case I find a wonder product. Usually the new products are overhyped & rarely worth the money, not so with my new buys. I had not even seen these glitter wands advertised so was like a child in a sweetshop with the testers *blush*. For £2.99 each they are totally amazing.

I tried both on when I got home & I was stupidly excited at the sparkliness.

I can honestly say there are no negative points. I usually am really careful with glitter around my eyes & very rarely use it because the stuff I have used has irritated my eyes. These wands come with a clear (looks coloured in tube) base coat & then you just pat the glitter on with applicator. Really easy to do, very accurate results & not in the least bit irritating. When I had mine on the other night I didn't even feel like I was wearing makeup.

My New Years makeup is sorted. I will be out-sparkling the Christmas lights!

Song for today - Addicted To Love

30 October 2009


I love my sister. I have had 'hmmm' thoughts over someone & as I couldn't speak to her without being overheard, we were texting each other (private & free - perfect!) & her text in response was;

"He better not mess my sister around, the naughty boy! Or I will spank him. :-P"

It made me laugh out loud & was actually what I needed to kick me from 'what shall I do' mode to 'more important things' mode.

She's a moody cow, but she's the best moody cow there is ;-)


Twice in the last month I have been ID'd for stuff I'm more than old enough to buy.

I went to Asda a few weeks ago & took advantage of the 3 for £10.00 wine offer they have on at the moment. I'm not a big drinker but I am partial to some wine occasionally. I got to the till & was getting the cash ready when the checkout man asked me if I had any I.D. I went to look & realised I'd forgotten it.
Cue five minutes almost of me persuading him that I had turned 24 the week previously & was defnitely old enough to buy alcohol.
It was a near run thing as he didn't believe me fully & it took all my persuasive powers to get him to agree with me. I succeeded in the end by promising that he wouldn't get in to trouble because I was definitely old enough!

Second occasion was last week. Tesco had a clearance sale of DVD's & I bought one 12 cert. & one 15 cert. Nothing major.
I went to pay for them & the woman at the checkout asked for ID. For a 15 cert. DVD!! I had to get my sister to pay for them for me. She's 18 & I'm 24, & she didn't get ID'd!

I've been told I have a babyface so maybe that's it. I'll be glad of it when I'm 30 probably but it bruises the ego somewhat when I'm on a date & get asked for ID. Oh the shame....

Song for today - Solsbury Hill

26 October 2009

It's That Time of Year Again

The time of year for boots. *wistful sigh*. Already so far I have spied about 4 pairs of boots I really, really like. Every Autumn/Winter is the same, I go in to town & see the new Winter stock in the shops & without fail, I delight in the new boots that are in.

I really don't care that much for shoes but as everyone who reads this knows, I have a major love affair going on with boots. Ankle boots, knee high boots, thigh boots, pirate boots, shoe boots. ANY boots!

So far this year I have my eye on the below;

Erez Flat Boot from New Look. £35.00. Practial which means I'd get a lot of wear out of them & I think they're a rather timeless style that won't date.

Leather Brogue Boot from New Look. £70.00. I absolutely adore these. But they have a very high heel & I'd need to wait for the sale. And the smallest they do is a size 3... Maybe thick socks would fill the toe up a bit?

Same boot as above but in brown. I actually prefer this colour of the two but black is probably more practical.

Tassle Boot from New Look. £35.00. They're over the knee though & as I have short legs, they'd probably look wrong.

Military Detail Shoe Boot. Again from New Look & £40.00. I absolutely adore these & I really, really want them! I think I might be able to get away with a 3 as they're ankle boots rather than knee boots.

Studded Boot from New Look. £35.00. I actually have a pair very similar to these so I won't be buying them. The only difference with mine is they are not studded & they're real suede otherwise they're quite similar. Very comfy & very practical but still look quite smart with skinny jeans.

Slouch Boots from George@Asda. £18.00. I am definitely getting these. They are much nicer in real life than they look online & the chain detail is really pretty. They look much more expensive than they are, are really nice quality, have a sturdy rubber sole & are practical without being old-fashioned etc. Plus I get £5.00 off the price as I have a voucher!

Cracked Leather Boot. Again these are from Asda & are £20.00. They look much nicer in real life & not nearly so tacky as they look online. However, they are on the right side of sexy & I love them. Especially as they are a good price. Quite a high heel though so not the most practical but they look good, so I don't care that much ;-)
Very tempted...

Same boots as above but in a plum colour. Not nearly so tacky as they look & I am sorely tempted to get both colours. Will have to see what the sales bring or what funds are available.

I think that's it for my Boot Lust this year. Unless I see any more pairs, in which case I will be sure to post them :o)

PS; I am updating my links & so if you link here & I haven't returned the favour, or if you'd like a link from here, then let me know via the comments. Lots of blogs on my links have been closed/archived/died so an update is sorely needed.

24 October 2009

Home Again

Well I'm back from the holiday. It wasn't actually that bad & turned out to be quite fun despite some misgivings that I may end up killing C or myself after four hours in the back of a car with her...

Monday - Set off & spent 4 hours in the car getting to very pretty Norfolk which also happened to be a very rainy & grey Norfolk. After 30 minutes I got bored of the incessant chat, switched my mp3 player on. soundtrack - The Prodigy. Coldplay. T-Rex.
Unpack, go for a walk on the beach & get to sleep by 9.30pm! So unlike me that I don't think I've ever gone to sleep that early but not much sleep the night before coupled with travelling knocked me out completely.

Tuesday - Go down to the beach for a little while but give up due to the rain & the breeze coming in off the sea.

Wednesday - Visit The English Whisky Co. I could quite happily have raided their shop & stayed there for the rest of the holiday!
I had a taster of all three liquers & the Blackberry I found much too sweet. It reminded me of syrup & just wasn't my taste at all.
The cranberry one was too tangy.
The blueberry one was perfect & it is absolutely delicious :-) I bought one of the 350ml bottles and for the quality of the alcohol I think it is a very good price.

I also tried some of their Single Malt Spirit (they aren't allowed legally to call it Whisky until it has been in the cask for at least three years) & it is delicious. I couldn't afford any but my step-dad bought some. I keep tasting it to make sure it isn't poisoned...... ;-)

Strop bought some Norfolk Nog & I keep tasting that too. It is yummy & has successfully cured my Baileys addiction, the Nog is far nicer.

I am so taken with their products that I'm even willing to go to the effort to mail order them. And if you do go near them then call in, they are extremely friendly & you're made to feel very welcome. The lovely lady there didn't even make me feel bad about requesting three tasters of the individual liquers, difficult decisions!

Thursday - Redwings! We were also made to feel very welcome there & I fell in love with Darcey. I really, really wanted to bring her home with me. She is beautiful & so trusting after what has happened to her.
Horses legs are deceptively delicate. To be hauled back & forth across the channel while receiving no suitable nourishment has meant her legs are damaged for life & she is unrideable. Some real awful stories of neglect, like headcollars fitted so tight they dug in to the flesh behind the ears & the headcollar had to be cut out of the head. There were at least 4 instances of this happening that I learned of. Another pony having to have it's eye removed as it was so badly neglected. Another that had been left in it's stable for four years. Others that had been turfed on to common land for somebody else to sort out & various other terrible & evil stories of complete neglect & disregard for the horse/pony.
As for stealing Darcey, I'll just have to settle for adopting her instead :-)
The evening was spent going to the chip shop & when Strop received a call on her mobile, I decided to make her have fits of giggles by standing in front of her & suggestively eating a saveloy.... It worked & she was laughing so much she had to end the call early. Success!

We then went for a long walk had one huge girly gossip. In the last few years a strong bond between us has grown & we tend to confide in each other. Being close in age probably helps but the gist of the conversation was anything from debating over whether to accept dates recently offered (a verbal pros & cons list) to how she really needs to stop wearing heels in my presence when I'm in flats. She is 5'8 in bare feet. I'm 5' in bare feet. It's just not fair!! ;-)

Friday - Mad dash to finish packing & get off early only to be caught in traffic & spend five hours getting back home.
It has to be said that Strop was really good company again & for 4 hours of the journey we spent the time quietly gossiping & smothering giggles at 'inappropriate' comments one or the other of us had made under our breath. The other hour I got bored & listened to my mp3 player. The music was The Kinks, The Beatles & David Gray.

On a seperate note; The Queen visited Cheltenham today & had I been home, she could have stopped for tea as she went almost past my front door. Next time I shall be sure to notify her of my social plans & she can plan her visit properly!

19 October 2009


I am Norfolk-bound tomorrow. On the plus side, it is a County I have wanted to see properly for a while. Particularly the glorious beaches there. Perfect beaches for galloping across on horseback in my opinion.
On the downside, I have a almost four hour journey with my delightful sisters & once we get there, the possibility of sharing a room with one.

I have point blank refused to share a room with C. She is 12 & ridiculously temperamental & moody & I would rather sleep on the floor than share a room with her.

Strop & I have persuaded everyone else that Redwings Horse Sanctuary is on the 'must do' list. So long as I get to go there & go to the beach, I am happy & it is more than likely that as we are close to the beach, I'll be taking myself off for long walks & sea air. Sheer bliss!

I'll back in a week with plenty of pictures & chatter no doubt. Keep your fingers crossed that the sun shines on me while I'm away ;-)
I don't want to be rained on on my holiday!

17 October 2009

The Ginger Rat

As the puppy is affectionately known. He is also less affetionately known as Little Sod, Git and Ginge depending on the seriousness of his latest crime.

He has doubled in height since we got him & when stood on his hidlegs, his paws reach the work surfaces in the kitchen. We found that out to our cost....
His latest toy to be chewed in the living room tonight was a wooden spatula which he gleefully ran under the coffee table with until it was removed from his lethally sharp teeth.
He had stolen it from the washing up bowl.

He is as hardened as hell & where one smack would stop a normal puppy in it's tracks, it takes five with Harley. You can remove him from doing something he shouldn't (like getting on the sofa) tap his bum & before you can blink, he's back on the sofa & behaving as if it's his right to be there.
Setters are very sweet but not for the faint-hearted. They definitely need strong, consistent & firm handling & although massively affectionate, they are extremely strong willed.

Anyway, here are some pictures.

Comfortable how?!

I really don't know how on earth he managed to get himself in to that tangle. Odd dog.

Out of a perfectly good living room, he chooses the T.V cabinet as his preferred spot.

I do like the crossed paws though. Almost as though he is praying & as well he might considering the damage he's caused to my toes & my favourite ballet pumps (my fault for leaving them in his reach really)

"If I look reeeaallly cute, she might let me chew her boots after all......"

".......Maybe not then."

Obviously, Sam's hip was provided solely for Harley's comfort rather than any practical use.

You may think Harley is copying Sam here. Do not be fooled, Sam thinks Harley's introduction to the household is licence for him to behave as a puppy again. To the point of contemplating stealing food which he has never done in his life with us & when I caught him & told him off, the look on his face was that of a child being caught with her hand in the biscuit barrel. Completely mortified & like their body is seperate to their brain & all rational thinking!

Harley is about 13 weeks old here I think. His legs are short & his face is still extremely puppy-like so I think he must be about that age. He's about 17 weeks old in the majority of the other pics.

Same pic but a different angle.

Legs & Co.

As you can see, both dogs are very close & impossible to separate now. Where one is, the other will be found very close by.

This is not so good when at 3am in the morning, they are found doing helter-skelter type runs up & down the three flights of stairs & when caught, Sam's face looked as if it was about to drop on the floor at being caught & Harley just looked at me & then looked at Sam, before looking back to me with a 'It's all his fault. He made me do it!' look.
I think not....

All in all, hard work but lots of fun!

6 October 2009

WPC Yvonne Fletcher

WPC Yvonne Fletcher was 25 years old when she was gunned down outside the Libyan Embassy at 10:18am on the 17th of April 1984 whilst carrying out her duty.
On the 10th of September 2009 it was revealed that a deal, approved by the then Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw, that the Governemnt had agreed to abandon any attempt to seek the return of WPC Fletcher's killer for a trial on British soil.
A petition has been set up in an attempt to bring her killer back the U.K to face trial for her murder. Below is the contents of a message brought to my attention. The link for the petition is included at the bottom of this post.

"You may have seen on the National news that the UK Government has given up seeking extradition for the killer of Wpc Yvonne Fletcher.

The Police Federation of England and Wales are strongly campaigning for this decision to be overruled and the officer’s killer be brought to justice.
As part of this campaign a petition has been set up on the Number 10 website.
We are encouraging every Police Officer in the Country to sign this position and support the cause of a fallen colleague.

Once you have signed please make sure your colleagues are aware and sign alongside you. We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to urgently seek the extradition to the UK of the murderer of WPC Yvonne Fletcher. More details;

WPC Yvonne Fletcher Petition

Please follow the above link to register your support for this case."

5 October 2009

Glass Houses

People who live in them should not make a habit of throwing stones, let alone boulders.

This week has been the most stressful of my life. The muscles at the base of my neck & my shoulder muscles are in knots & I have had to bite my tongue so many times I've almost bitten it off. By the way, this is a very long & moany post & for that I apologise but I need some way of getting my frustration & anger out without turning to drink or the knife block.

The reason for me feeling this way is my wonderful brother. He phoned my mum up the other week asking if he could come & stay for a week & after some thought she said yes.

The week went something like this;

Saturday: Arrival.

Sunday: Normal Sunday family life & being so stupid as to think my brother (who I shall refer to as L) had maybe grown up a little at last.

Monday: L spends the whole day sniping at me. I realise he hasn't grown up. At all.

Tuesday: L passes comment on every single member of the family. 90% of which is negative.

Wednesday: L has reverted back to being a complete twat rather than the normal 65% twat content. I hide myself in my room for most of the evening as it's either that or I blow my top at his opinions on everyone else's life.

Thursday: L spends the day out. The black cloud that had descended over the house momentarily lifts.

Friday: I find myself constantly walking away from L as I cannot bear to listen to one more bit of sanctimoious 'advice', holier than thou opinions or complete crap that spews out of his mouth on a daily basis.

Saturday: L starts again. I go absolutely mad & flip my lid.....

I know for a fact I am easy to live with. I've been told this by quite a few people. Even my slightly critical mother has told me this. I rarely have a problem with anyone's behaviour & it has to be pretty far out of line for me to comment on it.

On Monday, L spent the whole day passing snide comments on my life & other people's. I kept my mouth shut for my mum's sake. It takes a lot to wind me up but L would push a saint to cursing.
His comments ranged from; "You know what, you should get a job" to criticising my taste in clothes (telling me I look a mess) to my hair & makeup to my love life (!) to various other things he had no business whatsoever to comment on.

I caught my mum's eye on a few of these occasions & she just shook her head which is code for 'don't rise to the bait' because L has a habit of showing off like a 2 year old when he is confronted.

Throughout the whole week he has taken the P. He has borrowed money off of my mum (which he has still not paid back) & despite claiming he is piss poor has miraculously found money to go drinking with. Twice.

My sister works nights & he has told her she sleeps too much during the day. She does an 8 hour shift plus overtime sometimes & sleeps for about eight hours through the day.
L has then got the 16 week old puppy by his back legs, splayed the pup's legs as he's holding them up & attempted to do the wheelbarrow with him. It's a well known fact that the breed of the new puppy can have hip problems & apart from that, the puppy was trying to bite my brother & growling which is an obvious sign he doesn't like what is being done to him.

He automatically helps himself to food & drink. And he is very generous with whatever he has. He doesn't even have the courtesy to ask! All the food & drink in the house is for everyone but it's nice to ask. Especially when he pays nothing towards the house kitty.

He has purposely wound the dogs up. When he's specifically been told/asked not to tease them with food etc.

He has not got out of bed before 11am throughout the whole week he's been here. He then comes down, spills half the coffee & sugar over the clean worktops, comes in to the living room, grabs the remote & turns the TV over, pulls the cushions off the sofa & slouches his stinking body over the whole sofa.
Without so much as a 'good morning' to whoever is in the room at the time. Whether they are watching TV or listening to the radio is of absolutely no concern to him.

My other brother, the aboslute diamond of a brother, has given me his old laptop. L asked to borrow it so I (stupidly) let him. He put it down to go & get something but I noticed that he put it on the coffee table & because he couldn't be bothered to move his mug & plate he perches MY laptop on the edge of the coffee table meaning half of the lap top is hanging off the table edge. I ask him to put it on the table properly because the pup is in the habit of putting his front paws on the table & climbing up or will pull anything left on the table on to the floor. L kicks off & shoves the laptop along the table, slamming the screen down & almost trashing it in the process.
I go mad & tell him he can forget using it again.

His reply? "Fine. If I want to use a computer I'll use somebody else's & not your heap of crap"
At this point I walked out in to the back garden & went for a walk because if I hadn't, I seriously would have slapped him.

He has bought a digital camera with him to use while he is here & despite knowing I absolutely hate having my picture taken at the best of times, has come up to me twice this week & taken horrible pictures of me when I have looked my worst (flu).
In answer to one he took, apparently he's seen better at Gloucester cattle market & I looked like a pig.
I could accept it & shrug it off if he wasn't my brother & if it hadn't been said with such malice.

It would be funny but not when he's saying it about & in front of someone who has a serious hang up about their looks & saying it in a snidey way. I've come to terms with the fact I'm not ugly but I don't ever feel I'm anything more than average & at 18/19, went through a period of eating barely anything & surviving on sugary black coffee purely because of the issues I had with my physical appearance through my teen years that I had blown out of all proportion. I'm not as silly as that now but I am still really sensitive about things & I am aware that I have to gloss over what I don't like about myself or else I know I will go down the same route of not eating & controlling food etc.
He knows all of this so why say it?

So, those are the less annoying episodes of his week here. The main reason I went ballistic on Saturday was because of his attitude & his reply to a simple request of mine.

Saturday morning, L walks in to the living room, slouches on the sofa & says not a word to me.
The rest of the family are out & I ask him if he wouldn't mind giving the kitchen tops a quick wipe over & putting the few things that are in the draining board, in the cupboard.

L; "I might do. I'm on holiday"

GND; "Yes L, I know. But I've done the biggest part of the housework & I need to do something for me now so can you just do what I've asked you please?"

L; "Why the fuck should I?! I don't fucking live here. It's not my mess"

GND; "Actually L, it is partly your mess & regardless of that we're all expected to pull our weight around the house & I don't see why you should be any different"

L "Oh fuck off. You've got fuck all right to tell me what to do"

GND; "Stop swearing please."

L; "Fuck you. Fuck off. I'm not clearing up your fucking crap"

GND; "It's not my crap. It's everyone's, including yours" (I am struggling to hold my temper at this point & I now refuse to give in as a matter of principle)

L; "You haven't got a fucking job. you rely on mum for everything. I look after myself. You ask our stepdad for lifts everwhere, you get mum to do everything for you & you whinge like a spoilt brat over hospital appointments. So tell me why the fucking hell I should clear up the fucking shit everywhere"

GND; "Oh I do, do I? Let's go through this shall we? I am swimming against the tide with jobs & my health is ok but not the best. It's only acceptable because I've worked hard to make it that way & if I want to do something that will take it out of me physically for any length of time, I have to dose myself up on painkillers.
I do not rely on mum. She insists on doing the cooking & other things & refusing offers of help.
I only ask for a lift from D (stepdad) if I know he's going close to where I want to go. And I'm not even dignifying the rest with an answer"

L; "For fucks sake, shut the fuck up. I've got NVQ's, what have you got? Oh yeah, a poxy laptop & a pony. You're a fucking loser"

GND; "Right, I've had enough of you & your attitude. If I'm such a loser, how about you take a look in the mirror & see what a bonafide dickhead looks like? But then again, you wouldn't need a mirror with the amount you wave your dick around,. You & half of the female population of Cornwall should be well aware of what a dick head looks like by now. And asshole would be a more appropriate way to address you but despite speaking a load of shit on a hourly basis, you lack the ponytail"

I then went on to say the below to him;

A: You might have NVQ's but you've probably got a few STD's to go with them.

B: You only supposedly look after yourself because your pregnant girlfriend has kicked you out because you were shagging around with a 15 year old & yu have had no choice but to look after yourself .

C. You have a son who's mother will barely allow you near because of how you are.

D. You already have a child you cannot support, emotionally or financially & despite that, you've gone ahead & agreed to have another one.

E. You have stolen from a previous employer to feed your coke habit. And you relied on somebody else's good nature to get you out of the crap.

F. You lie as easily as breathe.

G. You have the morals of an alleycat. At least I have never had to pay a visit to the clap clinic because I have a case of crabs.

H. I have not driven while drunk & written my partner's car off & because of that, lost my job along with my licence.

I. I have not shit on practically every member of the family in one way or another.

J. I have never purposely put someone down & watched them cry because of what I've said to them.

I. If I really was such a loser I'd have taken the option of getting myself up the duff months ago & getting provided with a shedload of benefits, more help with work than I'm currently getting & a house to myself to live in. As it is I'm not as shameless & low as yourself. And if that makes me a loser L, then I'm overjoyed because at least it means I'll never end up going down the path you've taken.

I then told him that I wasn't going to waste any more of my time or breath on him & that I knew who I'd rather be out of the two of us. Also, that the letters of the alphabet would run out before I got to the end of his list of misdemeanours & cock-ups.

He's the lowest of the low. He's even gone on about the really shitty time I had in hospital. Apparently, he didn't know what all the fuss was about, he's had harder stuff to cope with.
The difference is my health is not of my doing & how the hell does he work out that after having a failed operation that came very close to3 killing me, then having to go back three months later for the exact same operation to be attempted again, is easy?

He's going home tomorrow (which cannot come soon enough) & it's gone from me willing to give him a second chance to only acknowledging his presence if I absolutely have to.

I would go to the train station to see him off & actually make sure he gets on his train but I am slightly concerned that if I did, my next stop would be the police station for murder as I would be sorely tempted to push him in front of the 10:35 to Paddington.

I wouldn't of course. But only because our local emergency services have enough shit to shovel, without adding my brother to their list. ;-)

Oh, and if I had been equal to his well built 6'4 rather than being a tiddly 5' I would happily have slapped him across the face for saying what he said to me but as it is, I'm tiny & he is very tall & finding something to stand on in order to slap him would have completely ruined the effect.

The fire in my belly is often sleeping but when it is doused with the right accelerant it is gauranteed to go from campfire to raging inferno.

*Lots of deep, controlled breaths*

(I'll be back to my sunny self once he's gone.)