3 January 2009

Clean Slate

Well, first post of 2009 & that's another year gone. And it's gone scarily fast really.
I for one am glad to see the back of 2008, it was a bit of a crappy year one way & another & I feel as if it's a year of my life wasted.
I didn't achieve anything & I feel like 2008 slipped through my fingers.

The first six months were the worst I've ever had I think. I came within millimetres of dying in January & spent February, March & the best part of April getting over that. During April I had the operation done that should have been completed in January which meant another month/two months getting myself properly up & running again.

I finished with Mr. S which I didn't foresee at all. Half of me still wanted the relationship & the other half of me was screaming that it wasn't right anymore & something had to be done. And although I knew it was the right thing to do it didn't make it any easier to actually face him & say that things were over.
I guess we could have carried on but if I'd done that I'd have ended up hurting him & resenting him & that was neither fair nor right.

As for the last six months of the year? They've been a something & nothing really. It just seemed like one thing after another went wrong in the beginning half of the year & it's taken the last half of it for me to get over it all & feel like myself again. In the great scheme of things it isn't much but the fact it all came out of the blue & was stuff that I hadn't even thought about knocked me sideways a little bit.

On the plus side, I am looking forward to 2009. I've sorted things in my head about my dad & decided the best thing is not to have any contact with him. At least not in the immediate future.

The jobhunting is just not happening.
I'm getting nowhere with things despite applying for loads of stuff. Maybe I need to change my deodourant?!
Until something comes along I've decided to do some voluntary work, maybe with children or young adults. Or a women's refuge or similar. I need to look into it properly but whatever, it's better than going to college to kill time & get a piece of paper at the end of a course that I don't need or want.

I still want to work for the police in some capacity or other but at the moment, it's not top of my priorities but more of a goal to work towards.

As for the baby brother getting a random girl up the duff....
I may or may not be an Aunt in '09 but at least he has decided to get a DNA test as soon as the baby comes into the world. Classy.

Still, at least if I do become an Aunt the baby will have great guidance on all things fashion, horses & music ;o)

There isn't much more to say really other than that I feel far more positive about things as of January 2009 than I have done in the past year!


Littleacornman said...

All the best for '09.Hope it works out better than last year!

Kaiser Bill said...

well.....it can only get better!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a year!
All the best for '09 :o)

Annette said...

Sorry you've had a bad year, hope 2009 will be a lot better for you.