29 July 2009

Glue

I love my nephew. He is absolutely beautiful & to be quite frank, I really do not know how my brother managed to have a hand in producing such a lovely baby.

My brother has J every weekend from Friday night through to Sunday afternoon/evening. He calls this 'parenting'. It isn't parenting, it's barely part time parenting!
My mum & stepdad went down to visit my brother, his girlfriend & J a few weeks ago & as this was a Saturday night, my brother decided he wanted to go out on the town. He only has J once a week for two days & does not think twice about asking my mum to babysit whilst he goes out on the lash. My mum refused & told him that as he now has a newborn son that it was about time he grew up a little bit.

He's already cancelled four weekends he was supposed to have J & gone out with friends instead. I don't expect him to stay in for the rest of his days but what is wrong with going out once a month?

But as he's doing so well at being a dad him & his girlfriend decided another baby would be a fabulous idea.
She is now pregnant & in mty brother's words this was a good idea beacause it shows his commitment to C, his girlfriend.
Er hello! Marriage?! And then maybe a baby a year or so down the line when they're both settled & secure?

Oh no, according to him a baby with C is a brilliant idea as he loves being a dad & weddings cost a lot of money.. Yes. Of course, silly me. Because babies are cheap & you can just put them back in the box when you've got bored.

C does not trust my brother where other girls are concerned (I absolutely do not blame her. I don't trust him either) & to be honest, I think the only reason she has so readily agreed to have a child with my brother is because she is feeling insecure & threatened. She has more or less said that to me herself.

I just don't understand how on earth she imagines a baby will make my brother settle down or how it will serve to make their relationship strong. It won't.
I think she's using this pregnancy & baby as a glue & it just won't work.

She's already fallen out with my brother over her suspecting him of messing around with other girls via Facebook & text. My brother denied it all, C got stressed out to the point where she had to go to hospital as it was suspected she was having a miscarriage.

I know C will be a great mum. She is a great girl & I really like her. However, my brother is still as immature as ever. Still thinks it is clever to list the girls he's slept with by going on Facebook with his friend & my brother pointing to the pictures on girls profiles saying "I've had her. And her. And her. Oh, and her mate. And her" etc etc.
He still thinks it's clever to try starting fights when he's drunk. He still thinks it's clever to do all of the immature things he does.

But he still calls himself a parent.

I am really cross with him. I realise C has a part in this too, it's also her choice to stay with him & have a child with him.
And I do realise he hasn't had the best of rolde models in our dad but I'm not like he is. My other brother is the total opposite of him & for all of our dad's failings, our stepdad has made up for them triple fold.

So why does he still behave like an overgrown 12 year old?

I cannot bear to speak to him on the phone anymore as all I hear is him bragging of various stupid & ridiculous things he's done & telling me to lighten up.

I just hope he grows up in some sort of order in the next 8 months.


2 comments:

cogidubnus said...

It's cliched, I know, but I'm afraid this all sounds like a disaster waiting to happen...having children in an attempt to shore up a shakey relationship is an appalling idea...

Girl*Next*Door said...

Cogi, I absolutely agree. She doesn't trust him & having a baby will just magnify everything that is wrong in their relationship in my opinion.