What a novelty to like someone, really like them and be completely at ease with them. To know they're as interested in you as you are in them.
To be relaxed and not feel under pressure. To be able to just enjoy what's happening, not feel like it's going to go wrong or that they are going to hurt you. To know that whatever happens, they will always respect you and treat you fairly. To be able to click with someone mentally as well as physically and feel happy around that person.
To have that person coax you out of your shell and reassure you that things are ok. To be able to talk about everything and nothing with them and it feel completely natural.
To be completely happy to go with the flow and to feel so at ease with that person.
To be able to trust them no matter what.
To be able to have banter and teasing with that person and laugh your head off with them.
Neither of us have made things 'official' so to speak, we're at the inbetween stage where it's not casual but also not defined as boyfriend and girlfriend because of a few complications that will be around until the New Year. Not, I hasten to add, because he is involved with anyone.
I feel so relaxed, happy, safe, secure and calm around him. I feel like I and my feelings are valued by him and that even if things don't work out, I know he wouldn't be a bastard to me.
I didn't even feel like this with Mr. S. I don't feel like I have to be trying all the time, I don't feel like he's spinning me lines and I feel I can be totally myself with him & that that will be completely ok.
I've made it crystal clear that I am not interested in a one night stand or a fling because my emotions get involved and I would rather be alone than just be used when it suits and that is more than ok with him.
I have taken a step back slightly, watched and waited to see what happens, sort of tested him.
He makes the effort, he puts himself out for me and he listens to me.
He fights my corner and reassures me when things are tough.
He makes me laugh and he 'gets' me.
I'm happy to stand back and go with the flow because I know his head won't be turned by the next pretty girl to walk by and that he will always be honest with me and in turn, I can be honest with him.
He gives me confidence in myself and makes me feel like the most desirable girl on earth. I can trust him.
We've been getting to know each other since September, talking and spending time with each other. And so far it feels amazing.
I don't want him to change his mind about things.
"I've caught myself smiling alone,
Just thinking of your voice.
Don't let me fall again for nothing more."