4 October 2011

A Bit Of Posh.

That's what I got described as last week. By two people!
I don't consider myself posh at all, I just know how to behave in situations and talk correctly and I find I get a much better response from people when I speak to them nicely and correctly than others do when they speak like a chav.

My mother brought me up to show good manners, decorum and to behave like a lady and it has to be said, she thinks I should sip wine when I'm out rather than drink brandy on the rocks but never mind, worse things happen than me getting tipsy on brandy.

I have my moments of madness but believe that it's far more attractive to be on the slightly demure side than it is to have all my wares on display and oddly, it has been really noticed when my sister and I have been out on the town. Not so long ago we were both stopped by two guys and were told how good we looked and how nice it was to see two girls making the most of themselves whilst still managing to remain decent and show some class. Neither of us were wearing anything majorly outstanding but it was really nice to have that said to us.

When we were bought drinks by two guys one of them said to me "What's your real accent? You surely don't speak like that all the time? If you do then you are officially Posh Totty!" he didn't believe that A. I did and B. I couldn't really grasp what he meant when he thought the way I spoke was out of the ordinary. I did laugh at the Posh Totty comment though :-D.
He only believed me when my sister backed me up and said that I did speak in that way pretty much all the time. I did find it sad in a way that it seemed to be unusual for him to come across someone who used the English language correctly. He said that most people he came across were obsessed with the chavvy slang and dreaded 'txt spk' even in emails and on the telephone.

So back to what happened last week, the two instances were as follows and I feel the one is a bit of a backhanded compliment :-D.

I was at the yard last week and the farrier was visiting so there were a few of us in the yard having a chat and some banter when it came up about music and for some reason, the farrier piped up with "You ever heard that song by Scouting For Girls? Posh Girls it's called. I reckon that was based on you".

Now that may sound like a nice compliment and in a way it is but I know the song and the chorus and some of the lyrics are a bit 'Oh!' in places :-D.
I threatened to knock him off my Christmas card list if there were any more comments like that and all he could do was laugh and wink. I've a feeling I may be giving him a Tesco Value range Christmas card this year!

The second instance was when I was on Skype to the boyfriend.
We were talking and I must have said something in a particular way because he interrupted and said "You do talk well but bloody hell, you even talk posh on Skype. Say it again."
That just made me laugh, a lot.

I really don't consider myself to be 'posh' but it is nice to know that when I talk to people, I obnviously come across well. I have a love for the English language and refuse to desecrate it by using the dreaded 'txt spk' or lots of slang. Unfortunately I do sometimes swear but have been told even that sounds posh which I do not believe in the slightest as I hate it when I hear women swearing, it just seems to sound so much worse coming from a woman's mouth than it does a man's.

In my old job there was a comment made that actually made me blush but made me feel quite pleased at the same time. While I was in college I worked ad-hoc shifts for the student hostel I was staying in and part of that job was to answer the telephones and take payments over the phone from various parents paying room fees for their children. I answered the telephone one day and was chatting to this man while his payment was going through for his son when he said "This may be slightly inappropriate but I have to tell you before I go, you have the most fantastic accent and voice I've heard in a very long time. Don't take this the wrong way but you could do dangerous things to a man by speaking on the telephone like that".

I blushed an awful lot and giggled because I was slightly embarrassed but he was a nice guy and wasn't at all lechy or pervy so he obviously meant it as a compliment. He must have said something to his son because when he came back after the Summer break he said to me "My dad says next time he makes a payment, please can you answer the telephone to him" which again made me laugh.

My punctuation leaves a lot to be desired sometimes and I'm not word-perfect when it comes to some things but I do know my grammar and how to use words in the correct context when I speak most of the time and it really does make a huge difference to how you are perceived by people when you make the effort to speak correctly and properly.
I am a bit of a grammar fiend and will correct one or two close friends and my sisters but I obviously wouldn't dream of doing it to anybody else as that would be rude. It just seems a shame that we have a lovely language and wonderful words such as 'discombobulated' and 'flibbertigibbet' which are two of my favourite words ever and yet so many people seem to think 'innit' is a perfectly good response in a conversation and that does quite sadden me. I fully intend to bring up any children I have with a good grasp of the English language and if they ever use the word 'innnit' or 'reem' then I will lock them in the broom cupboard with a dictionary and orders to read it fully ;o) :-P

People also seem to assume that I am rich when they find out I have my own horse and ride. They are wrong and there is a well known saying in the horse world that is only too true!
"How do you make a small fortune from horses? Start with a large one!"
Oh so true! :-D


Anonymous said...

When you said you were at the yard, I was about to rush out and prowl the hallowed corridors for a pint sized posh bird in killer heels moaning about her back- the I saw you meant the yard and not The Yard! Crushed inside!


Annette said...

well,how funny you should say this. I am from Oxford and believe- you- me people who think I am posh! I ain't y'know.
It,s because there are certain words I prenounce differently.
For instance: glass
I say: Glarss.
If you get what I mean!!! LOL
We just seem to add an "R" in words and so we seem posh.
Hi TUPC lovely to hear from you, missed you much.
blogging yet???

JR said...

Interesting post. Funnily enough; having never (knowingly) had the pleasure of speaking to you face to face, the voice I hear in my mind when I read your posts is one that could be lazily described as "posh". By that I mean I imagine your speech to be very clear and without a strong accent.

I agree there is a lot of value in knowing how to behave and taking the trouble to be polite and courteous is a good way to win a lot of respect quickly. My mother didn't bring me up to be a lady (fortunately) but my parents did raise me to be a gentleman and it does lubricate personal and professional interactions.

As for erring on the demure side I completely agree. As a straight guy I can safely say I like seeing girls with no clothes on (think Jack Davenport's, "naked bottoms" rant in Coupling) but there is a time and a place; the middle of the street is neither. The most revealing clothes are usually the least flattering regardless of who's wearing them. Plus, demure need not be boring, the Duchess of Cambridge is a good example.


Girl*Next*Door said...

TUPC, definitely not The Yard :-D.
Pint sized? The word you're looking for is petite I'll have you know :-P :-D

Annette, yes that's part of it! It's not even that sometimes because I just seem to pronounce words properly. Possibly because I do a lot of reading and can't stand seeing the word in my head and not pronouncing it fully and properly. If that makes sense?

JR, you're pretty much spot on there!

It is amazing the response you get when you go to the effort to show respect and make the effort to speak correctly.

Demure is the way to be. That doesn't mean hobble skirts and buttoned-up necks but the old adage of only showing off your best feature rather than everything does carry some truth.
Not so long ago I saw a girl who was clearly out with a hen party and she decided she'd go out in a tiny bar, a g-string and a tutu with stiletto heels. She obviously thought she looked fantastic and she did have a great figure but all the comments she got were of the leery and pervy kind. The view held by every man who looked at her while I was near her was that she was easy and up for anything. That's a reputation I can quite happily live without, I'm no prude but as you say, there is a time and place.
The Duchess of Cambridge seems to get a lot of stick for wearing the same style of clothing but she knows what works for her. Rarely is there a woman that every style of clothing will suit. She is the vision you get in your head when you imagine a lady.

JR said...

Sounds like an interesting outfit.

I suppose the leery/pervy comments stem from the fact that, like it or not, the naked human body is a highly sexualised image. This is even more true of the female than the male body so this display can essentially be interpreted as a display of sexual availability.

My personal opinion is that a more conservative look is more attractive a) because, to me, it says that the girl in question has the self-confidence to know that she is attractive without having to "prove" it by showing everything, b) knows she is interesting enough to get to know rather than so boring she needs to distract potential partners by having her boobs out and c) because I appreciate the exclusivity and intimacy generated when a girl does show me her body. Some of that is inevitably lost if you know that everyone else get's to see the same on a Friday night.

The latter may be a bit possessive but I think if you asked any guy if, deep down, they would be happy with their girlfriends being strippers, topless models, etc most would admit they weren't best pleased with the idea.

I should probably go now and barricade my door before a hardcore feminist reads this and takes exception!


Girl*Next*Door said...

JR, she was playing up to the attention. If that's what she wants to do then good for her but I will say that to me it was pretty awful.

I for one agree with you but I've never been the type to demand totally equal rights because believe it or not, women will never be equal to men on some things. The explanation of why I believe that is a whole other post but I will do the sisterhood a disservice here and say that I am quite happy to use my feminine ways in certain situations and have done so successfully when there's been a calming influence needed.
My boyfriend's sister thinks I am a turncoat for arguing against her feminist ways but truth be told, I can't stand the feminist brigade :-/

The only way I can describe dressing appropriately is this; nobody wants to recieve an unwrapped birthday or Christmas gift that the minute you've been handed it you know exactly what it is because it's all there in front of you.
It's far nicer to have a wrapped gift that takes a bit of work to find out what's underneath because half the fun is in the unwrapping :o).

JR said...

What's wrong with admitting that men and women are different in certain ways? Have you noticed that a lot of the hardcore "feminist brigade" are either demanding a sort of hyper-equality (see Billy Connoly sketch about women) where they essentially get preferential treatment rather than being genuinely equal OR are generally so dull that you get the sneaking suspicion that the are only in it to ruin everyone else's fun. That said, using big eyes, flicking hair and pouting lips (or any other feminine charms) is just cruel. Us blokes are powerless to resist!

I love the analogy of presents! Even if packaging can be infernally fiddly at times:-p Where does that put tutu girl? The badly wrapped present that has been in someone's bag so the paper is falling off?

Girl*Next*Door said...

JR, I agree with you completely on both points. Feminism to me is th work the early suffragettes did and using our feminine charms. There have been a few instances I've witnessed where a calming infulence of a woman has worked a lot more effectivly than the firm stance of a man.
And the doe-eyes, flicking hair and fluttery lashes are my most used weapons sometimes :-D. Lots of women realise this and exploit it :-D.

The presents analogy is very appropriate in this instance. I can't say where that would leave tutu girl without making myself sound like a complete bitch!

JR said...

Of course by not passing comment but alluding to negative thoughts you are leaving us to fill in the blanks which could well be worse than what you would have originally said!

Did you get a special lesson at school about doe eyes etc? Perhaps the one where girls are taught the disdainful look that could freeze fire?

Girl*Next*Door said...

JR, this is true but at least then I don't look like the bitch :o).

I don't know about lessons but I use puppy/doe eyes to my full adavantage. Shockingly it actually works!
I have been told I have a very expressive face and have given people the filthiest of looks without even meaning to :-O.