18 October 2011

Oh Bugger.

Hmmm. I went to see my consultant earlier as a result of a GP referral. After having X-Rays taken of my right ankle I believe the official term is 'fucked'. According to my consultant the problem has not improved with physiotherapy and has in fact got worse. 'The problem' being that my right ankle very helpfully turns in due to old issues with my hips, it is now past the point of preventative measures and on to operation territory. I won't lie, this doesn't fill me with anything other than cold leaden dread in the pit of my stomach because as the consultant so helpfully described (and what I already knew but was blanking) is that my ankle will have to be broken and pinned to get it set back to how it should be.

I am concerned on many levels and they are listed here:

1. How long until I can wear my heels again? At my height (lack of at just under 5ft!) I need every bit of height I can get.

2. There is no question of whether it will hurt. I know it will. I don't do pain that well, not when it involves flesh, metal and blood.

3. Last time I went under aneasthetic I nearly flew off this mortal coil to collect my wings and halo. I've been told aneasthetic and me do not mix well at all and as a result of that near-death experience, the last operation was covered by the top aneasthetist in the area who had cleared her entire day just in case my body decided to throw a hissy-fit again. There's never any promises that this won't happen again, only that they can lessen the chances. This scares me quite a lot.

4. No riding. No dog walking. No clubbing. No going out with friends. No fun basically.

5. I don't want to think about banging a massive metal frame with pins in on doorways or anything like that. The thought makes me feel physically sick.

6. Do metal pins and the like come in metallic purple? I would be very happy if they did! If not I may have to break out the spray paints or nail varnish ;o).

7. What if it doesn't work and my ankle gets worse or doesn't improve?

I don't know when this operation is going to happen or whether they will change their minds but I am doing the ostrich impression of burying my head in the sand (but not with my arse in the air!) and going about day-to-day life as if it isn't actually going to happen becuase I am a wimp. If I think about it I will be heading to the nearest port and stowing away to some far-flung land where the only living things are horses and Gerard Butler lookalikes, where corsets grow on trees, and where various alcohol is free. It would also be good if there is a magic wand that could actually solve most problems painlessly.

I am a wimp and I am not ashamed to admit it!

On a brighter note, this is Snow Patrol's latest release and I love it :o)
And this, which never fails to put a smile on my face or cheer me up, Peter Gabriel - Solsbury Hill.

I haven't actually told the boyfriend yet. He is away on deployment at the moment and I don't think he needs to be worrying about something that is a little while away. When he comes back he will be like a mother hen and as much as I try to be thankful, I do feel sometimes like he is trying to wrap me in cotton wool so it's best he doesn't know for now :o).


Mark said...

OMG! I wonder if we share the same surgeon at CGH.
Mine is one of the new breed of orthopods who communicates rather than dictates and actually asked how my damaged tendon was affecting various aspects of my life.
I'd be equally terrified at the prospect of a general, but fortunately I'm giving some extremely gentle physio a whirl.(Oooo that sounds a tad saucy!)
If no improvement by Jan 2012 I face the slightly unnerving prospect of being encased from toe to knee in plaster for a few months "rest".

Reacher said...

Managed to avoid the temptation of commenting on your last post! Still behaving. :)

Sorry to hear the news GnD. A friend of mine in her twenties had serious bone/joint type problems including arthritic type of affliction that left her wheel-chair bound at times. She ended up taking a year or so out and found an excellent Ayuvedic treatment centre in Thailand. The treatment covered diet as well as a number of other therapies and was very painful at times. She came back after 18 months in top health.
Just a thought.
England is a cold, damp island which seeps into bones and joints particularly those more susceptible.

JR said...

GND, really sorry to hear about your ankle although I admire your quick assimilation of complex medical terminology.

On a more serious note; without wishing to lapse into platitudes, I sincerely hope you get some sort of satisfactory resolution soon be it from surgical or non-surgical means. Take comfort from the fact that if surgery is only just being considered then you are far from the end of the road.

It must be an absolute arse to have to think about this when you no doubt have far better things to do but I'm sure you will bear it with the stoicism you have shown in past posts. Don't forget, if you need to let off steam you have many sympathetic ears/eyes here.


p.s. as you're a short-arse there's a chance they could get away with using paediatric kit which might therefore come in purple!

cogidubnus said...

So sorry to hear about your hassles...I bet you need those high heels a lot less than you think though (little stunner just as you are, I bet!)...

And yes, I too behaved myself in the light of your last posting... such rare restraint...

The Peter Gabriel track is awesome...always been a great favourite...

Girl*Next*Door said...

Mark, it is quite possible. Even more possible is us sat in the same waiting room without knowing it with the amount of appointments I've had there lately!
My consultant is the same 'communication is key' sort which is actually quite nice. I'm hoping that they do change their mind and decide I can get away with a plaster cast instead of metal work :-/

Reacher, behaving well is over-rated. I decided this about ten years ago :-D.
Thailand sounds fantastic. I just don't know. I've been told there is no hope of improvement basically. It's not so much the fact that the joint problems are ongoing but the damage that has been left behind from me having arthiritis at six, it came out of nowhere and basically tore my immune system and still developing joints to shreds and although to anyone looking in, it's not noticeable that I have problems, on the inside the damage is quite significant. I had to have work on my hips and knees (replaced basically) and when they looked at my hip joint it was like a lump of cheese, crumbling in his hand and full of holes. I have the accolade that in his 20 year career, I was the worst he'd seen which is an achievement I think! :-D.
I actually prefer the bitter and dry cold as I react badly to heat (being fair skinned and freckled I don't tan, I go red and get irritable :-D)

JR, once I get over my wimpy ways I will be fine but at the moment, I just keep thinking about the worst. I admit that is a bit silly because the worst doesn't very often happen. I have beaten the odds a few times out of sheer bloody mindedness more than anything else.
Sometimes I get my wobby moments and need a whinge and this post was one of them. I don't think it's fair really to go to family as they are worried enough, particularly my mum. Two things to keep in mind is that there are others far far orse off than I ever will be and that really, I do get to do quite a fair bit that I want to. I am just squeamish which is half the problem!

Good point on the paediatric kit! I shall ask! :-D.

Cogi, oh I do need them! Otherwise I look like a hobbit when I am out, particularly next to my sister who is 5'10 (unfair!) :-D.

As for restraint, either the boyfriend is doing the same or hasn't actually read it. If it's the latter I'm possibly on borrowed time until he finds out but never mind, he could come home to much worse (another rabbit which I almost got given for instance :-D).

Peter Gabriel is great. solsbury Hill is probably my favourite but there's a couple of others that are on a par to that as well :o).

Metcountymounty said...

You can have fun, my little dude owes their very existence to the fact that I was on sick leave for 7 weeks with a broken ankle a few years ago!! On a serious note though I hope you can get it sorted, my knees and ankles are a mess thanks to policing and sports so I'm high on the list for arthritis down the line. Best of luck x

presuminged said...

when i shattered a few bones in my foot many years ago, i had an epidural. injection was a bit uncomfortable but boy oh boy it did the trick, never felt a thing and stayed conscious throughout the op. procedure was in germany though, got some quality treatment over there

heels don't pose any problem for me these days, either ;)

Girl*Next*Door said...

MCM, I don't really want a little dude just yet! :-D. I didn't know you had one though so very late congratulations to you and Mrs MCM :o).
Thank you :o) x.

Presuminged, I have had an epidural before and although good, it was the weirdest sensation ever and I was glad to see it go. Not so glad when the feeling returned and I felt the pain though :-/.

Heels pose no problem for you? Well they do say that practice makes perfect.... :-P ;-)