I had a fabulous evening seeing James play and I will blog about it later but for now, the only thing on my mind are the poor souls involved in the M5 pile up.
We (two friends and me) pulled in to Reading Services on the way back home and as we walked in, looked up to see the news coverage on one of their TV's and watched as what looked like some sort of living nightmare unfolded on the screen with the words at the bottom that there had been at least 26 vehicles involved in a pile up on the M5 with at least six lorries involved. The news reporter had somebody on a telephone line as we were watching and according to that person, cars had burst in to flames in front of him.
I felt sick watching the news coverage and now I'm home, actually feel very upset because although I was nowhere near it and not involved in any way, I cannot begin to imagine the horror of something like that. I'm not ashamed to say that I got home and read this news report with tears in my eyes because can you honestly imagine the absolute terror and carnage of not only being involved but being one of those speeding towards it to try and help those injured?
I don't know why I feel like I do, as far as I know nobody I know is caught up in it, I was nowhere near it and obviously not involved in it in any way but regardless, I have tears running down my cheeks because just slightly thinking about the absolute sheer terror, pain and horrific fear hitting those people as they crashed or came round from being injured and the sights that are going to be seen by various others has really, really upset me. It is ridiculous, it's not even close to me! There is no real reason for me to have reacted like I have but my emotions seem to think otherwise.
The driving conditions were bad as we were travelling up to London as they were grey, wet, overcast and generally not good driving conditions at all. It was more of the same coming back but fog on top of that and it seems that they are the sort of conditions that contributed towards this accident and yet we experienced a couple of drivers speeding and slamming their brakes on at the last second despite the awful conditions.
It is 3am now and I've been home for about half an hour, I put the TV on when I got in to break the silence of the flat and I kind of wished I hadn't. There are reported to be 'several' fatalities, at least a dozen life-changing injuries and countless others injured. There was nothing shown in the footage other than emergency vehicles but I couldn't carry on watching it so goodness only knows how on earth those dealing with the injured and the total devastation must feel.
I can't stop thinking about what those caught up in those vehicles must feel like.
I don't want to think about it but I can't stop myself and I don't know why I feel like this, it sounds so over-dramatic and attention seeking but it isn't, I just can't seem to control my reaction.
I have no idea why I've come home, watched the news coverage for a few minutes and without even being aware of it, had tears streaming down my cheeks, not just small tears but proper big teardrops running down my face. I have no reason to react like that, I am not involved with it in any way, shape or form. I don't know why I feel like I do but seeing it on the news looked absolutely horrendous, like anybody's worst nightmare. The news reporter was talking to somebody who had been caught up in the aftermath but not injured and this man was saying that cars in front of him had burst in to flames within seconds of hitting the vehicle in front. That is horrific no matter what way you look at it, just utterly horrendous. People apparently trapped in burning cars. For approximately six lorries to be involved and another two dozen or so cars means it must be absolute carnage and pure horror for those involved and for those in the emergency services dealing with it, I don't want to think about the sights they must be coping with still and will be coping with for a long, long time from now, if not forever.
There is no reason at all for me to have reacted in the way I have to this accident, I am not connected to it or involved in it in any way, I have no reason to feel so emotional and I wasn't feeling emotional before I found out about this terrible crash so I am at a total loss as to why I feel like I do and to be honest, almost ashamed to have had such a strong reaction to something I have absolutely no connection with as I don't feel I have the right to be that upset about something that has nothing to do with me.
For some reason on a whim last week I decided to pull out my childhood copy of The Wind In The Willows to read, I'm very ignorantly going to go to bed and bury my head in that and try and not think about the living hell some others are experiencing tonight.