As I say, S is a lovely girl but doesn't get the term 'too much information'. It was a girl's night out on Saturday night and whilst we were getting ready at M's (mutual friend's flat), S was saying how she was feeling like a born-again virgin so M and I were trying to be helpful and suggest maybe her man was feeling stressed with work or something. I should point out here that although S is in no way 'easy' she (as she puts it) "has needs". I think this guy she is seeing is probably concerned for his male welfare being as she's cornered him in the shower before now as well as tried to jump his bones first thing in the morning :-D.
We thought the conversation was drawing to a close when S came out with possibly one of the top five things she's ever come out with and that was "FFS, I made a romantic meal and everything the other night, I even smuggled some Horny Goat Weed in to his drink and even that didn't work!"
*slightly stunned silence from M and I*
GND: "You spiked his drink?"
S: "No! It's not spiking, it was herbal! I'm pretty sure it was anyway."
M: "Herbal or not that's bordering on date rape! It must be illegal in some way to do that. It has to be!"
S: "It would have been if it had actually worked."
GND: "S, do you think maybe it would help if you acted like a sexual woman instead of an oversexed rabbit or wannabe sex pest?"
S: "I'm just trying to be persuasive, encouraging. Nice things!"
It then comes out that she has tried sexy underwear and that's failed too. She is as tiny as me, same tiny size 2 feet as me and we both look much younger than mid-late 20s so no wonder the poor Street Pastors we passed in the highstreet looked actually quite concerned for their bodies when she was asking me about corsets and said "well he loves corsets and French knickers so if that doesn't work then I need to start looking at supplements or something because I don't know what else to do".
As was discussed during hangover talk on Sunday morning, my words were that she is a female version of Quagmire from Family Guy and M's boyfriend came out with the words "no wonder the poor bastard is running scared. She's probably drained him dry and sapped him of all reserves and energy. It's probably as much as he can do to get out of the bed in the morning!"
I should point out that none of this is said disparagingly and she knows about all of it and just laughs but honestly, I think men see her, find her little and cute and sweet and behind closed doors I think she leaves them running scared half the time.
Life's never boring with her around but I do have some sympathy for the poor guy :-D.